Trust Us

CONFIDENTIAL

Dear Lost JFK,

25 is a fairly mature age at which one can take her/his own important decisions in life. You are a workingwoman with quite an independent mind, and I request you to use your mind in this case, too. Are you not giving that person extra attention by listening to his miseries all the time? Even if he is your boss, you are under no obligation to listen to his personal problems. I don't understand why you are giving him so much importance in the first place! If he is your friend then let him be your friend only. He cannot rule your life. May be in your heart of hearts you also like his attention towards you. It may be possible that he likes you more than a friend. I think instead of thinking about leaving your job, you should sort out this matter by having an open dialogue with him. Don't feel miserable. Just ask him frankly what does he want. Whether he wants to have a romantic relationship with you or whether he only wants to be friends with you. In any case, the final decision should be yours. You should be able to decide what's best for you. There is no compulsion. It's all about how you feel towards him. Just let him know how you actually feel about him. Good luck!

Hi Guru,

I am a 13-year-old boy. Last year, my grandma passed away and my dad has been in constant depression since then. We used to live in Karachi, but now we have moved to Peshawar. Now the problem is that I don't have friends in school and in the neighbourhood here. I feel very lonely. Guru, please tell me how to get close to my dad in order to help him in getting out of the depression. And, please give me some tips that may enable me to overcome my loneliness.                                                    

Boy In Trouble

Dear Boy In Trouble,

You seem like a very good son who cares about his father. In this age, most young kids are involved in their own activities. Your concern towards your father is really commendable. The death of your grandmother must be very shocking for your father, as he must be very close to her. But no matter how great a grief is, time is a great healer and I am sure your father will get out of the depression with the passage of time. You need to remind him that life goes on. Try to be around your father and spend as much time with him as you can. Call his friends so that his attention can be diverted. Try to keep him engaged in some sort of activity, so that he does not get any time to get depressed.

You also don't need to feel lonely. I think your father's depression is linked to your loneliness. If he starts feeling all right, you'll also feel better. If you have siblings, try to develop better understanding with them. Try to adopt a friendly attitude towards your schoolmates. You have to take an initiative in order to be accepted by them. You are new there so you need to make an effort. Be nice with everyone and soon you'll be surrounded by friends. Good luck!

Dear Guru,

I am a 19-year-old girl. There is this cousin of mine who is my best friend also. We are of the same age and are very frank with each other. He is a nice guy. Now, we are feeling that we are getting romantically involved with each other. But the problem is that he is insisting on kissing me. I don't want to be physically involved with him and I have simply refused, which has made him very angry. I really like him and I don't want to offend him. He is still waiting for my answer. I am very confused. What should I do? 

Confused Girl

Dear Confused Girl,

It's good that you have set your limits. He has no right to pressurise you, so don't give in. As far as his anger is concerned, you should not worry about it. I know that you really like him, but the point is that if he also likes you, then he should respect your moral values. You seem like a very nice girl and you should not succumb to his whims.  If he keeps on showing his attitude then it will be his loss not yours! Good luck!

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