RAMBO, I ask you!
May 05, 2001
So then, somebody has seen the light and pensioned old RAMBO (Regulatory Authority for Media Broadcasting Organisations, I guess is what it means) off, thank God, for it was a silly name at best for the so-called watchdog for the so-called "independent" TV channels and radio stations which are to be set up. The regulatory body is now to be called PEMRA (Pakistan Electronic Media Regulatory Authority), a quite pompous name, but not as asinine as RAMBO. Also, a feud has erupted between the Ministries of Information, and Science and Technology which lays claim to the (lucrative) turf of the coming independent media stations because it now runs the PTA (Pakistan Telecommunication Authority) whose telecommunication network will be used by the media broadcasters. Not only that, the PTA is actually demanding that PTV (Pakistan Television Corporation) and PBC (Pakistan Broadcasting Corporation) be handed over to it too!
This is fatuous nonsense. It is almost like saying that because PIA's aircraft use airports which are run by the Civil Aviation Authority, the airline should be handed over to the CAA; or, to give a sillier example, because the Army uses the railways to transport troops and equipment, the Army should be handed over to the Railways ministry. Of course the media channels should be administered by the Information ministry, with the PTA/Ministry of Science and Technology charging the broadcasters for airtime or whatever. However, it may well be a battle already lost for the information wallahs considering that they have a formidable opponent in the Minister for S&T, who, if the regular press statements from the ministry are to be believed, has already made Pakistan into a computer technology tiger.
Incidentally, what sort of "regulatory authority" will the government exercise? When you free the media, you free it, full stop. Can somebody please understand that? Incidentally, while we are on the subject, may I once again caution government not to go over the deep end in handing out TV and Radio licences to all and sundry. It must note that even in Britain there are only a handful of TV companies allowed to broadcast terrestrially.
Meanwhile back at his Texas ranch, George W Bush, the President of the most powerful country on earth, continues to play higgledy-piggledy with the world. Quite a word this, what, which I came across again five years ago, and 40 or so years after I heard it for the first time. This time, when reading a book about the British Raj, I came across a short anecdote. A minor grandee from one of the Rajputana states is complaining to the British Resident about the Congress Party's attempts to whip up anti-landlord sentiment among the peasants. If memory serves, this is what he says: "And these cunnings; they do not have courage to face me, but play higgledy-piggledy on my backside!" The Shorter Oxford describes the word thus: "Without any order of position or direction; in jumbled confusion; a disorderly jumble."
Consider please, that on Wednesday May 2nd, the Defence Department of the United States sends a memo to the Secretaries of the three services; the Joint Chiefs; and the Pentagon, banning any further "Department of Defence programmes, contacts and activities with the Peoples Republic of China until further notice." A few hours later, and after the US State Department and the National Security Council had "gone ballistic", the memo is withdrawn with its authorship being put into the lap of a junior functionary who was already slated to leave the Defence Department next month for greener pastures. This is the state of the world's only super-power, in it's dealings with a country which will soon be one. And we are called an "irresponsible state"!
The White House is a big building which has lots of rooms named after various past Presidents, colours, and so on. Might one suggest that one of them be designated "The President George W Bush Play Room" and filled with toy soldiers complete with weapons, tanks, armoured cars, the lot; toy bombs (low yield hydrogen ones too) including smart, laser, and what have you; toy aircraft, specially models of the Aries spy-plane stranded on Hainan Island, the Stealth fighter/bomber and other high-tech aircraft; and of course the Reagan brilliance, the "Star Wars" toy satellites. Let the President of the United States then go into the Play Room in the company of Donald Rumsfeld, whenever the two of them feel the bile rising, and play their little war-games to their heart's content. Daddy Bush can be invited to join in too, whenever it takes his fancy. But, please, sirs, spare us the daily theatrics which could well spiral out of control. We are lucky that the on-going cowboy antics are directed at an old and mature and sagacious country like China. Can one even begin to countenance the disaster that would hit the world at large if there were two immature, but Ramboesque, countries going at each other?
On another tack now. It would do us well to look at General Moinuddin Haider's latest statements, made during a talk to the Foreign Services Academy. He says in one breath: "Pakistan has told the Taliban leadership that it would not like any Pakistani to be trained in Afghanistan or fight against the Northern Alliance". In the next, he 'brushes aside' the impression that the Taliban are in Pakistan's control by saying, "They even do not listen to us." Which statement is true, please? Are the Taliban listening to us or are they not? If they are not, as the minister assures us, what is the point of asking them not to train any Pakistanis in Afghanistan? What is the point in asking them not to let any Pakistanis fight the Northern Alliance? Why can we not accept the obvious, and tell it to the world too. That the Taliban did not fall out of the sky one fine day. They were helped into position by several countries, at least one of which would not have helped without tacit American agreement (remember the great Oil Company?). Why can we not accept that their unprecedented victories in the battlefield have given them such confidence that they do not listen to anyone any more?
I close with a short look at General Musharraf's latest interview to the Khaleej Times in which he is described as gregarious and easygoing, and surprisingly totally unselfconscious of his position as head of government. "The higher you go the lonelier you become", says the good general. This is true - the loneliness goes with the job. One can only hope and pray that "loneliness" does not mean "isolation". One only hopes that the CE will see to it that he is not isolated by smooth-talking sycophants. He says again: "The secret of my natural behaviour is that I'm never actually in the Chief Executive mode". Most people in the CE's position would become pompous and arrogant and he deserves praise for continuing to be himself. But, one should strike a balance between being nice, and getting the job done. We Pakistanis are amongst the worst users of other people. The danda is the best peer there is.
The author is a retired army officer and a freelance columnist