Begging has been revolutionised in Pakistan. Now it seems beggars are tired of using guilt and sympathy by making their young children beg and/or work at traffic signals etc., or putting various ointments and badges on their children's body to get money from the hundreds of thousands of gullible people in Pakistan. Now these beggars have revamped their begging techniques and have started 'abandoning' their children on the pretext of poverty. This new method seems to have paid off, since the abandoned children made headlines and motivated the authorities to pay lip-service.

Recently, a number of children were abandoned at Edhi centres because their parents could not - literally 'afford' them. The parents were stricken with poverty to the extent that they would rather leave their flesh and blood with strangers than try to earn a living and try to support their families. Before writing them off as inherently evil we have to take view of the state of affairs in the country, as well as the rest of the world - which is going towards a dangerous financial dip, where less and less people will have jobs and the means to support themselves and their families, so to some extent we cannot completely blame these parents for abandoning their children; abandonment sure beats selling or killing one's children due to poverty.

The story of these abandoned children turned out to be somewhat happy, as their poverty stricken parents were promised financial compensation by Edhi's organisation if they would take their children back into familiar family surroundings. And thus the children returned home, however, this quick financial fix enticed other parents to follow suit probably looking for financial help, and more children were abandoned at Edhi centres.

The mother of some of these abandoned children was heard saying on the TV channels that when she saw her abandoned and bewildered children at the Edhi centre, she couldn't bear it and came to take them back the "very next day". But is she the right person to look after the children? Doesn't this act reveal that she has abandoned them once, she could do so once again. The government should take her children away and kept in a good foster home for the simple reason that she seemed to be able to afford a television set, but found it difficult to feed her children, whose welfare was her responsibility.

This does not mean that poverty and unemployment are myths, they are no doubt, and have always been serious issues faced by Pakistan. But nothing has been done by any government to try and improve the living standards of the people, and over the last six decades more and more have slipped below the poverty line.

But this does in no way justify parents abandoning their children and drastic steps should be taken against such parents, including fines, imprisonment and other legal measures and moving the children to a better and healthier environment. A network of foster homes and parents should be developed so that children, especially street children, can be brought up in safer environments. Several NGOs, including Karachi based Volunteers, are working to take children off the streets - indirectly protecting them from becoming prey to all kinds of offenders roaming the streets and placing them in better conditions. But the lack of foster homes and trained people to tend to these children is a huge task, and needs to be funded by the central government so that NGOs etc. involved in this can work more diligently.

Coming back to these parents and their children, the act of abandonment might have surely scarred these children for life. How can you make a child understand the concept of abandonment in the first place? Weren't parents supposed to protect you and fend for you when you are a child? However, they will never be able to figure out the complexes that they may develop after this episode simply because no one, not their parents, the society or the authorities will address these as serious issues.

Unfortunately for Pakistan, non-issues continue to make headlines, while the real people and their issues are all but ignored and they are allowed to fade into oblivion. With the recent advent of the media in Pakistan, many issues have received more exposure as compared to the past, which is a good thing. However, sometimes extremely important cases are also lost in the media frenzy. While the case of the abandoned children made headlines, the case of the five year old emancipated girl who was found atop a garbage heap the same day only made a ripple, and sunk as the more media savvy story of the other abandoned children took over.

The story of this five year old child was lost and no follow up came to the fore...was she reunited with her parents? Why didn't the media go into a frenzy over why a child who should be going to kindergarten and who should only be worried about playing with friends protected by the loving arms of her parents, was found in a rubbish heap and no one coming to claim her? What prompted her parents to leave her on a rubbish heap and not come back for her? Are they alive? If not what would be the fate of the child?

The fact that this five year old girl was allowed to live even though she was left on a rubbish heap speaks of the misery her parents - especially her mother - were experiencing when they had to decide to abandon her. Apparently, she was not an unwanted child even though she is a female; otherwise she would have met a gruesome fate at birth.

If no one comes to claim this child, what will be her fate? Will the government provide for her? Will she be put in the care of experienced and trained people? Will she be allowed to be adopted and to live with a family again?

As the weather becomes colder, fresh makeup trends start to heat up. This winter is no exception with emphasis on the eyes. With the return of bold colours and dark liners, eyes are definitely center stage right now. And there are many fun and dramatic looks to try. Bold greys, smouldering and smoky are on the eyelids of many supermodels - even making their way to the nails with matte grey making many an appearance. Evening is the perfect time to experiment with a more dramatic eye makeup and a fun, sexy look. You can have fun with colour, sparkle, and unique eye makeup designs that are not as appropriate for daytime. Eye makeup styles for evening include: thick, bold eyeliner; false lashes, intense eye shadows and coloured mascaras.

Dark eyes

Two of the strongest trends are the 'cat eyes' look and the use of smoky, smouldering shades of eye shadow to create dramatic, deep set eyes. The 'cat eyes' are achieved by lining the entire eye with a dark shade of liner, most often black, dark brown, or grey. The line is then extended just beyond the outer corner of the eye in an upward direction to give a look that's very sultry and mysterious. This look is probably best played out for evening wear since it may be too overdone for the day.

Smoky, dark shades of eye shadow are also the rage to complement the current winter fashion colours. Keep the eyes dark and smoky; make a dramatic impression by using an intensely coloured powder shadow across the eyelid and well into the socket for a sheer wash of illumination, then blend the same colour lighter under the line of your lower lashes.

Broad brows

The trend in eye brows is towards a fuller, more natural look. Frame your upper face and eyes with super-thick brows, a dramatic change from the finer, over-tweezed brows of seasons past. Thick brows can be achieved with a light dusting of brow powder and setting gel, so make sure you sculpt and tweeze only a few hairs to achieve the look.

If you have naturally thin brows, you can use an eye pencil to subtly enhance them, although don't go overboard as pencilled in brows can look unnatural. Lashes are fuller and longer than ever, complemented by multiple coats of dark mascara to play up the look of smouldering, sultry eyes.

Liner liner

Unless you're trying to create the smoky-eye look this season, aim for super-thin lines when applying eyeliner. Asian-inspired eyeliner is one of the top beauty trends for the season, and you can create that Geisha look with a Kajal pencil, dark brown or navy liner.

Golden tips:

Add a touch of gold to the eyelids and lower brow can turn your basic look into one with a glamorous edge. Gold-based eye shadow is a great way to brighten up brown and hazel-coloured eyes, but can also warm up other eye colours and different skin tones.

For super sexy evening eyes, use a small mascara wand, and turn the wand vertically to apply on the lower lashes to grab each lash and draw attention to your lashes. A smaller wand helps grab even the tiniest lashes and makes your eyes stand out. Remember to prime your eyelids with a good eye cream and an eye base or concealer. This will protect your eyes and allow the heavier evening eye make up to stay put without smudging or fading. Also - remember heavier eye makeup and more dramatic eye looks work best with a more subtle lip and face.

Credits:

Compilation:

Farisa Jerar Naqvi

Coordination:

Fahad Shamim @ infocus

0321-9284401

Photography:

Arsalan.K

Makeup : Tariq

Eye cataract is one of the most common health conditions in our country. It isn't a disease but it occurs with age; just like our hair grows white in old age, our eyes tend to develop a cataract at times. A cataract is clouding of the normally clear crystalline lens inside the eye. Although they are mainly associated with aging, there is also a possibility of then being caused by diseases such as diabetes; from medications, or from trauma. The only treatment for cataract is a surgery, and with the help of modern technology the procedure is not as difficult as it used to be. Dr Zaheer at Layton Rahmatulla Benevolent Trust Eye Hospital sheds light on the different aspects of the disease and latest technique known as 'Phasomulsification' in cataract surgery.

What is a cataract?

A cataract is a clouding of the eye's natural lens, which lies behind the iris and the pupil. The human lens works much like a camera lens, focusing light into the retina at the back of the eye. The lens also adjusts the eye's focus letting us see things clearly both up close and far away. The protein the lens is made of, is arranged in such a precise way that it keeps the lens clear and lets light pass through it. But as we age, some of the protein may clump together and start to cloud a small area of the lens. This is cataract, and over a period of time, it may grow larger and cloud more of the lens, making it harder for the patient to see.

Treatment

The initial treatment for cataracts is usually a change in the glasses prescription. With advancing cataracts, however, in the long run changing one's spectacles is no longer helpful and surgery may be needed. The decision about whether or not to proceed with cataract surgery should be based on whether one is having trouble performing daily activities because of their vision. "Since every person has their own unique needs and medical history, the decision to proceed with surgery is made only after a thorough eye exam and a discussion of the risks and benefits of surgery with the surgeon," informs Dr Zaheer.

What is Phacoemulsification?

Phacoemulsification is an advanced cataract surgery technique in which a very small incision of about 3.2 mm is made into the clear part of the eye (cornea) and the hard core (nucleus) of the lens is converted into a soft pulp and sucked out. Then a foldable lens i.e. an intra-ocular lens (IOL) is injected through the small incision and positioned into the capsular bag. IOL's are small lenses that are implanted inside the eye in place of the natural lens. The greatest advantage here is the clear wide field of vision and the fact that the patient does not have to constantly wear thick glasses. Since the IOL stays in the eye for life, there should not be any compromise on the quality. If it is a multipurpose lens the patient does not need to use specs; but this multi-purpose lens is very costly. The main advantages of this operation are early rehabilitation and decreased occurrence of astigmatism (cylindrical power in glasses).

This technique has made cataract surgery very easy as now it is performed on an outpatient basis. The patient can go home the same day of their surgery while a typical follow-up after surgery is to be seen by the surgeon after the first day, first week, and again in three to four weeks. This may however, vary depending on the individual circumstances.

The drawback

The only drawback of the new surgical option is that it is extremely costly. The multiple lenses which are inserted inside the eye under this surgical procedure rid the patients of glasses for the rest of their lives. The high cost being paid is worth it but sadly everybody cannot afford it. Other than that it is a hundred per cent successful and safe option and the patient recovers within a few days.

I am an 18-year-old girl. I once made a friend who is now crazy about me. He is 23 years old. The problem is that I belong to a conservative family. I can't carry this relationship further. He is quite serious about me. I know that he loves me, but I am not sure I feel the same way. I cannot leave him as his parents are dead and he lives alone. Also, his salary is quite handsome. Should I continue this relationship? One more thing: I want to improve my hands. Give me some tips. I hope you will help me.

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

Is this letter for real? If it is, you amaze me by your refreshing honesty! You are from a 'conservative' family, so it is all right for you to lead a guy on because he earns a handsome salary. You don't feel the same about him, but you really should not tell him this, my dear. It would deprive you of the perks you enjoy without committing yourself.

You are so naive that you have to ask someone whether you should continue using a guy who is sincere with you or to have the decency to tell him that you cannot marry him!

Anyway, since you have actually asked, I will advise you not to break his heart by playing with his emotions. Tell him that you cannot marry him and break all connections.

Keep your hands clean, dear. This advice will work in both the cases.

Dear Ms. Nadine,

I'm 24 and in my final year of MBA. I am an introvert and don't make friends very easily, but when I do, they become very close to me. I don't even believe in having girlfriends and then breaking up with them for no reason. I'm very much what you would call a 'one-woman' person. To find the right girl, get married to her and spend the rest of my life with her. I can't think any other way.

Well, during my BBA, I came across such a person. We hit it off really well and became the best of friends. I belong to the Shiite sect and my family does not condone inter-sect marriages. Anyway, this girl is Sunni. With that already at the back of my mind, I approached our friendship with nothing more in mind. We both knew that we couldn't have a future together. That aside, we had the best time of our lives in those two years. We were virtually inseparable and most of the university assumed we were going out. We knew of these rumours and discussed them as well and admitted that it wasn't possible. We also discussed that we would both like to be together had it been possible. Now we have both seen very tough times together. Both of us have had rough childhoods with domestic problems and we both played very big roles in seeing each of us through difficult times.

Two years passed. We graduated. Her family married her off. She is thankfully happily married and has a beautiful daughter.

I will InshaAllah graduate in the coming year, find a good job and then will be engaged in all likelihood to one of my cousins, according to our parent's wishes. I look forward to the prospect of being engaged and eventually married.

The problem is one to which I already know the solution to. I miss having that special connection with someone. It has been almost three years, and my contact with my friend has diminished (which is natural once you're married off). And these years have been tough to get through. It wasn't easy to learn to live my life without her since we had become so close. However, I realised that the key is to be patient.

I very much look forward to having that sort of relationship again. I realise that my future wife will be the only one with whom I can hope to do that with. I have two problems: I have grown up in a family with domestic disputes. I pray that I am able to have a much better relationship with my wife than my parents had with each other. Secondly, I'd like to believe that if you're friends prior to that then you can predict to a certain extent whether it can work out or not. Am I correct in believing that? What signs do I look for between me and the girl who will be chosen for me by my parents? If I feel that a certain cousin of mine and I can become good friends in the future, is that enough to go ahead with it? Because that is just a gut feeling. I fear that I may not make the right decision or at least I may not know what to look for in a girl who would eventually become my wife.

Salman

Dear Salman,

It seems you are mature beyond your years. I feel that you are a sensible and balanced person, and this augurs well for a happy marital life. You and that girl had mental compatibility and that is something not easy to find. The best thing is that you both understood your situation and acted accordingly. Since you have an open mind, and have already decided not to make the mistakes that you have seen your parents make, I can safely assume that your wife will be one heck of a lucky girl and your married life will be free of the mistakes your parents made. The second part is rather tricky to answer. Of course if you have a friendly relationship with a cousin you can have some idea about the sort of a person she is, but till you actually get married it is impossible to say how it will turn out. There are things that a person likes in a paramour or friend which he might find repugnant in his wife. And again, you can develop mental compatibility with a complete stranger you marry. So as long as the background of both the partners is not disparate there is a chance that marital bliss can be achieved. Marriage is about caring and sharing also and not just having a person you can talk easily with. If you feel your cousin can become a good friend, trust your gut feeling and hope for the best. Good luck!

Hello Nadine,

I am a 25-year-old man. I am a bank officer and my salary is handsome. My problem is that my cousin and I were in love for the past 4 years, but her parents were against our marriage. I belong to a very well placed family, so I do not know why her parents did not agree to our match. She is the only child of her parents. Two months ago, they went abroad and when they returned the girl is totally changed. She told me that she would do what her parents want her to. She has broken up with me totally. After returning, she has not spoken with me at all. During this time my uncle took my proposal to her parents, but they refused again. Now I don't know what to do. Perhaps her parents have done something to her that she has changed so easily. She used to say that she wouldn't marry anyone except me. I have no deficiency I am an MBA and her whole family is in my favour except for her parents. I can't live without her, and she cannot live without me either. I just don't know what has happened to her. Kindly help me.

Taurus

Dear Taurus,

You are 25, so you have to be old enough to take a couple of things on your chin. It seems that your love has now become one-sided. The girl's parents have seen to that, and they probably have their own reasons for doing that. My dear, since the girl has broken up with you, you should accept the decision with good grace. There is no use wracking your brain over the girl's parents' refusal of your proposal. You cannot force them to accept you, so why torture yourself?

It seems the girl's mind is changed and she feels as her parents do about the matter. How her parents got her to do so is besides the point.

Read on as You! shares this week a bit from its own slam book with a twist - the one-liners are from Faisal Qureshi, one of the most loved stars from the silver screen...

Admit it girls, we all fancy our celebs. The glitz of their glamorous world attracts us - what they wear, where they shop, what they dream of, their love-interests, their favourite things - we love to get the scoop. Keeping this in mind, from time to time You! is going to share some interesting tete-a-tete with popular celebrities. This time around, we were lucky enough to get hold of Faisal Qureshi, one of the biggest stars to grace the Pakistani silver screen. The lad started off his career as a child and since then there has been no looking back. The actor has once again gone through a major transformation and toned down his body for a hotter look! Let's read on to find out more about 'Boota from Toba Tek Singh' in his one-liners...

My biggest asset:

My family

I wish I could:

Be a good tennis player

One person I would love to dine out with:

My daughter

My worst nightmare:

Is gone...!!!

My definition of love is:

Being true

One thing I hate about myself:

My mood swings

Something I would like to forget:

I have already forgotten

Something I would like to remember:

My father's advices

My strength:

My brain

I regret:

My accident

I feel over the cloud nine when:

ab tu feelings aisaee nahi hain pehlay hoti thee

I get turned on by:

Beautiful feet

Something that I am strongly possessive about:

My daughter

The most unforgettable moment of my life was:

There are so many, I can't think of a single one right now

The thing that touches me the most:

Modesty

If I could be another person I would like to be:

President of this country

When feeling low I prefer:

Chocolates

My message:

With time more and more Pakistani artists are opting for opportunities presented by the Indian movie makers due to the rekindling relationship between the two countries. These Pakistani artists include Meera, Javed Shaikh, Sana, Veena Malik and Mona Liza.

Unfortunately famous Lollywood artist cum producer and director Javed Shaikh has now joined the ranks of those Pakistani artists who were lured to work in Bollywood films and then realised that they were cut to sizes when one or the other Indian films they had worked was released. Poor Javed Shaikh, even though a big thing here, has been virtually staying in India for months working in Bollywood films more as a character-artist without being assigned any worthwhile role. The recent Bollywood film that he has been featured in with a supposedly big role is 'Yuvraj' featuring him along with Salman Khan, Anil Kapoor and others, directed by Subhash Ghai.

Javed Shaikh after viewing the Indian at the censor stage had strongly protested to director Subhash Ghai for deleting most of his work from "Yuvraaj". His protests were ignored and on not receiving a satisfactory response from Subhash Ghai, he withdrew his name from the cast of the film. The film has been released all over including Pakistan but without mentioning his name or photos with the cast.

Recently in a telephonic message from Mumbai, Javed Shaikh stated that he will no longer be working in any Bollywood film where he is assigned a minor character from now onwards. Better late than never Javed but what about all the other stars with high hopes of making it into the Indian movie industry? Be prepared for disappointment, but hey, even after all the rejection it's never too late to come back to your home sweet home!!

Your good taste mirrors in the selection and arrangement of furniture that transforms the interior. This week You! takes you to a home done elegantly...

As you enter the Mrs Koko Gohar's house you are bound to stop and admire the beautiful plants arranged tastefully in the front yard.

Koko has a big house, which was built around the '60s. At the time of her marriage, it represented the architecture of that period. Totally on her own, she renovated the house. "It was not always like this. I had it renovated to my specifications and my husband gave me a free hand to that end. I was able to make the changes I wanted. The present lounge was a bedroom, with a store next to it. I had the wall removed and the store demolished. In place of the store is the reception and the bedroom is our family lounge now. The reception also leads into the kitchen," explains Mrs. Gohar.

The family lounge is dominated by a comfy, fawn coloured sofa set. "This sofa set is about 40 years old. I simply change its upholstery periodically to give it a touch of elegance. The cushions on the sofa and the centre rug were bought from Itwar Bazar. I frequent Itwar Bazar. It's a treasure trove if you have the eye. Most of my rugs and cushions are from there." Placed beautifully are two black Sawati chairs almost adjacent to the fawn sofa. "I brought these from Taxila. They give a very ethnic touch to the family lounge," claims Koko. The lounge walls adorn interesting hangings with cheetah stripes. "These are actually pillow cases! I liked the design and had them mounted. People think that it is an expensive designer's item," reveals Mrs. Gohar.

In fact, wall hangings are in abundance throughout the house. Koko Gohar feels that the placement of wall hangings is of prime importance. "Most people put them up either too high or too low, which detracts their beauty. "Some of my wall hangings are also from Itwar Bazar. You can get very good stuff from there at very reasonable rates. All you need is taste to choose from the mounds of useless stuff you are bound to encounter," she elaborates.

On the right side of the living room is a smaller TV lounge, housed by comfortable black leather sofas, giving a sleek look to the room. The exquisite carpet is yet another find from Itwar Bazar, enhances the beauty of the room. The windows offer a beautiful view of the garden. "Our garden was lovingly created by my late mother-in-law. We have a variety of beautiful plants from many places and tend to it our self."

Her elegantly furnished drawing room also speaks eloquently of her fine taste. "The cream sofa set was bought from an embassy auction about 15 years back."

The drawing room leads to the dining room, which is also done on modern lines. "Unlike most of my furniture, my dining set is new. I bought it from Zubaida's," says Mrs Gohar

The beautiful cane dining table with a glass top has the matching cruet set holder. "The side board here is again very old. It was brought by my father-in-law from Manila," she adds.

The master bedroom is simply and sparsely furnished. There is a scenery from Manila on the wall above the bed. The painting was brought from Manila by Koko Gohar's father-in-law. There is an elegant, comfortable reclining chair and a dresser. The room looks classy, comfortable and uncluttered.

The entrance to the drawing room was through a veranda, which had to go when the house was renovated by Koko Gohar. In its place is a small room that houses the antiques from China. The family fondly calls it the 'Chinese Room decorated by an antique wooden and marble sofa. You can also spy a brown wooden statue with outstretched arms, placed on a console. "My father-in-law brought the sofa from China 40 years ago. The statue with outstretched arms was brought at the same time. My father-in-law told me that both these were antique pieces and the statue was a good luck sign," tells Koko Gohar.

"Your furniture demands care. If you maintain it well, you can make it last for ages," advises Mrs Gohar with a smile.

A trip to Koko Gohar's house is enough to convince anyone that it is the selection and arrangement of furniture that transforms the interior. And it is not necessary to scour designers' showrooms to decorate your home. It all depends on your taste!