- When scientist broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open the atoms, they found they were stuffed with explosions.

- While the earth appears to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it really is only centrificating.

- One horsepower is how much energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

- Rainbows are just for us to look at, but not really understand.

- The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.

- In South America, they have cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage.

- Someday we may learn how to make magnets that can point in any direction.

- A vibration is a motion that can't make up its mind which way it wants to go.

- Most books now say that the sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.

- Lime is a green-tasting rock.

- Water freezes at 32o and boils at 212o. There are 180o between boiling and freezing because there are 180o between north and south.

- Some people are able to tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

- To most people a solution mean finding the answers. But to chemists a solution is when things are all mixed up.

-l Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it's brother against brother.

- Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

- Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around and around. There is not much else for them to do.

- Clouds are high flying fogs.

- I'm not sure how clouds are formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

- When we look at a drop of water under a microscope, we find that there are twice as many H's as O's.

- Water vapour gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.

A good pun is its own re-word

- What do you call a country where everyone drives a red car? A red carnation.

- Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.

- A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

- A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

- Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

- Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

- Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

- A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

- Reading while sunbathing makes you well, red.

- A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

- What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)

- If you don't pay your exorcist, will you get repossessed?

- The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

- A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

- You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

- Every calendar's days are numbered.

- A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

- The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

- Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.

- Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

- When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

- Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

- Acupuncture is a jab well done.

- Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

- Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

- Without geometry, life is pointless.

- He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.