If you are reading this, then congratulations…
The world hasn't ended



It was supposed to end this last Friday on December 21 according to that Mayan prophecy but the world decided to die another day. Perhaps because Salman Khan's Dabangg 2 was releasing on the day, you cannot keep Chulbul Pandey down he'll put you in your place Fevicol se. Come to think of it, perhaps that is how the Mayans met their end… forget history books that's just conspiracy theory.

Do I hear Imran Khan fans disagreeing? Ah yes, it's the tsunami they will unleash that will wipe out the world we know and leave an utopia in its wake. 90 days to finish corruption, too long people, you only need 80 days to around the world. Anyhow, no God would be cruel enough to deny us the chance of witnessing a tsunami of the tweeters, by the tweeters, for the tweeters, er sorry, we meant people.

Shiny happy people. Music people. Fashion people. Party people. They will all be there at Kiran Chaudhry's wedding celebrations to Riyaaz Amlani. A singer weds a restauranteur, Lahore marries into Mumbai and above all (this is the part we like best) “good music marries good food” as has been widely reported by the press across the border. A host of Indians are down for the shaadi of the season and Kiran's Pakistani friends will undoubtedly reciprocate for celebration across the border. Soft image, sab bhangra pao, dance dance revolution, no wonder then the uparwala decided to keep us all alive and kicking…

It's all about understanding the cosmic purpose behind everything, which the Mayans never did. Now that Ali Zafar has been voted at the 2nd Sexiest Asian Man in the World after Hrithik Roshan by Eastern Eye magazine of London, Pakistan is well and truly poised to take on the world. And hopefully soon after this miracle takes place we will a Pakistani answer to Shah Rukh Khan. That will take a long time coming, who knows, the world may well end before then but lets be positive. In the short term, after  a rather long time traversing the gilded winding pathways of Bollywood, Ali Zafar won't be bursting into tears at the overwhelming thought of Indo-Pak dosti.

Ideally, one should always be too sexy to be a crybaby. Dear TV people, you desperately need to learn this fine art too. The ratings that hunky taste of Turkey Ishq e Mamnoon got surpassed everyone's expectations and true to our ‘follow the leader’ spirit, dubbed foreign plays are poised to be the next big thing. So of course the TV walas have come to the same conclusion as the Mayans - that their world is going to end.

Since you are reading this, alive and well, we can assure you that none of this will happen. Shrewd TV producers will pick up on why Ishq e Mamnoon worked, it's fast pace being the first and foremost thing that set it apart from our slow mo melodramas. And a new life will be breathed into our serials which are too painful to watch sometimes. Thora action, thori masti, thora magic - entertainment beyond that morose mega success Humsuffer…

Who knows? Maybe some Pakistani will make a play someone in the great wide beyond wants to buy and which becomes a foreign legend. If podgy Korean PSY can become a global sensation Gangnam style, anything is possible.

The world has not ended and it will not end. As the clock turns clockwise, the earth rotates counter clockwise on its axis and the race against time goes on.

And so the Mayan prophecy comes to naught like so many before and after it, after all, sub Maya hai…

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How can the world possibly end when we’re looking so good? Stories of Ali Zafar and Mehreen Syed making it to global ‘it’ lists are everywhere...

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Not lost in translation: We took to Ishq e Mamnoon (Love’s Forbidden)/Turkey’s Aski Memnu like ducks to water. There will be more dubbed shows, some successful and some not - Pakistani TV plays won’t end either...