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Away
From
Her **** (2007) (Oscar nominee)
*ing: Julie Christie, Gordon Pinsent
Directed by Sarah Polly
Tagline: It's never too late to become what you might have been
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It
is hard to define love. It is even harder to do so after watching
a heartbreaking drama like Away from her. What is a greater form of
love, one questions - guarding your beloved's attention jealously
or letting her go for her own happiness? Not just letting her go,
but arranging to place her in the arms of another man.
Now before we think Dil De Chuke Sanam here, we must take into account
two factors: one, the love in this scenario is not based on the violent
beauty of your bride of two days. It spans a period of 45 years and
has seen the ups and downs of a normal marriage. And two, the struggle
has been even harder for one spouse, since the other suffers from
Alzheimer's disease.
Alzheimer is a disease that causes dementia and the complete degeneration
of the patient's identity. Due to a lack of cure, the disease is most
often fatal.
In order to understand the delicate beauty, luscious sensitivity and
subtle maturity of Away From Her, it is important to recount one poignant
scene of the film here.
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It
is Christmas season and the dining room of a retirement home is full
of visiting family members. A 60-plus aged man called Grant, smooth
and dignified, is sitting quietly on a sofa. Slumping down next to
him is a typical angry teen girl, complete with piercings and gothic
make up, listening to some pretty loud death metal on her Ipod. Grant
turns gently towards her and comments that she must find the place
terribly boring. She grunts in a 'tell-me-about-it' fashion and remarks
that it was too bad nobody came to visit him, since he is sitting
alone. Grant replies that he is not a patient. He is in fact visiting
someone himself: "The beautiful lady sitting over there".
"The one who is sitting with her husband?" notes the girl,
following Grant's gaze towards a couple getting cozy in one corner
of the room. "He's not her husband. I'm her husband" Grant
says gently, painfully, explaining, as if it were the most obvious,
uncomplicated thing in the world, that he is allowing her to pursue
her own happiness. The depth of this moment and the wide-eyed wonder
on the teenager's face, making us immediately compare his stable elderly
love to the frivolousness of young love, sucks the air right out of
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from her is the debut direction of Canadian actor Sarah Polley, who
adapted it from Canadian author Alice Munro's short story The Bear
Came Over the Mountain. It is the story of a retired university professor
called Grant (Gordon Pinsent) and his wife, Fiona (Julie Christie),
who, it must be noted, looks remarkably radiant at age 66. Both of
them live in the wilderness of freezing Ontario, Canada, and the director
has taken painstaking efforts to communicate the gloriousness of nature
at its pristine best, which is a delight to the viewer. The setting
seems almost to be another character in itself, with quiet, heavy
moments floating like monologues in the sunset, as it spreads its
glow over the gentle lake and snow caked landscape. |
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Grant and Fiona seem to enjoy a loving marriage. But underneath their
seeming serenity lies the cruelty of Alzheimer. Fiona suffers from
it and Grant, as the primal caregiver, suffers perhaps even more.
Still, he is unable to be 'away from her', even when she starts forgetting
the simplest of things and one day losing her way back home. It is
Fiona who insists to be put up at a nursing facility, despite Grant
being painfully reluctant to the idea. Eventually, he relents, but
is averse to the policy of the facility that restricts visitors for
the first 30 days after admission. They have never been apart for
so long in their long marriage.
On the way to the facility, however, he is amazed and hurt at how
Fiona still recalls some bitter twenty-year old memories in which,
as a young professor, Grant had had dalliances with his beautiful
female students.
When he returns after a month, he is grieved to discover that Fiona
does not remember him at all. Instead, she has formed a deep attachment
with another male patient, Aubrey.
The process of watching your own wife fall in love with another man
is no doubt agonizing. The detailed portrayal of Grant's silent observations
makes it even more heartbreaking to the viewer. But this development
brings to question different aspects. Is Fiona, subconsciously, or
perhaps intentionally, seeking vengeance for the past? A past which
Grant had conveniently glossed over. As one of the nurses at the retirement
home reminds Grant, men often have rosier memories of their marriage
than women. It is some genetic ability men have to raze over the little
bumps in the road and be able to look at the bigger picture, while
women find it hard to let go of the little pieces.
Or does this turn of events simply express the devastating effects
of Alzheimer and how much of a struggle it is to the family of the
patient. It is perhaps a bit of both.
Grant demonstrates immense patience and kindness here, and when Aubrey
is taken out of the facility, he watches his own wife disintegrate
with sorrow over the loss of her companion. After continuously being
rebuffed by her, Grant decides to make the biggest and most overlooked
gesture of love: self-sacrifice.
There is something terribly graceful about Gordon Pinsent (Grant),
with his lion-like beard, impassive composure and the ability to convey
the deepest emotions with the simplest of dialogue, without a twitch
in his facial lines. His acting, along with Julie Christie's is hauntingly
impressive.
The ending has a gratifyingly happy twist. It makes us smile and it
makes us realize that there are fruits in self-sacrifice, acceptance
and selflessness. And for these traits to follow, it is essential
to be wholeheartedly, and perhaps selfishly, in love.
-- Maria Tirmizi
*YUCK
**WHATEVER
***GOOD
****SUPER
*****AWESOME
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