|
|
| |
wishful
thinking
Resolutions for 2009
one would love to hear
The New Year always comes with an irrepressible urge to make
that essential list of resolutions even if it is like writing your
own doom, as resolutions never do get fulfilled. This list, which
we hope to see some high profile figures writing, is just as Eutopian.
Instep daydreams…
By Aamna
Haider Isani
|
| |
 |
| |
Fashion
designers
"We will stop blowing our own trumpet and learn to take criticism."
Karachi and Lahore have both come to stand equal on at least one account:
they both have one designer each that is trying to outdo the other
in terms of branding, marketing and blowing his own trumpet on television.
Without taking any names, the two we refer to did put out rather decent
collections last year (as well as doing the customary rounds of the
social pages) but their continuous blow of hot air was a little immodest
and distasteful. However their bid to outdo each other on off-shore
shows was fascinating. Here in Pakistan, we caught them for better
part of the year on television and fashion glossies as they went on
and on about their endless achievements in Malaysia, Dhaka, Dubai,
Riyadh, Czechoslovakia, Kazakhstan, Namibia, etc. Coming soon…they
will be planting their monogrammed flags on an iceberg in the Antarctica!
The bragging was followed by endless whining: they whined about not
being nominated at the Lux Style Awards, about not being nominated
for enough categories, for not being praised to the skies, by being
critiqued by journalists too young and naïve … the list
is as endless as their list of fashion shows held all across the world.
|
|
Shaan
"I will wake up to the twenty first century of cinema
and will bury my burly moustache."
We loved Shaan in Khuda Kay Liye as much as
we loved him in 'Khamaaj' as well as the splendid patriotic
music videos he has directed for Mobilink. That's the Shaan
we have grown to appreciate over the years and we do seriously
think he has the power to influence popular Pakistani cinema
(which still translates to the gandasa culture) towards change.
Shaan's next film (working title: Love at 0300)
will hopefully bring
|
 |
|
|
about that change and the talented actor will stop
playing Dr Jekyll Mr Hyde by playing the thought provoking sensitive
male one minute and the overweight village bully the next.
And while we're at it, can we please add that Shaan should also
wake up to technology and realize the convenience of sending promotional
CDs of his next film instead of hard copies as big as table mats
(that Instep received from his Production house during the promotion
of his last film Zilay Shah). Technology, Shaan, will make your
life easier as well as ours!
Most of Pakistan's new fashion models
"I will exercise and not depend on diuretics and starvation
to lose weight and look young."
At the risk of invoking the wrath of the industry
by adding "and stop modeling when we hit 35", we do hope
Pakistan's fashion models write out this resolution and paste it
on the door of their medicine cabinets (as they rarely visit their
refrigerators). We have seen one show too many with models that
are over-age and under nourished. Skin and bones do not make for
good skin tone whereas youth and a healthy lifestyle does. And it
is the healthy glow and flawless skin that one desires to see…fashion
photographers would surely agree. Joining a gym would be a good
idea. We've seen girls with terrible skin stepping into advertisements
for skin products. But then in print Photoshop always works its
wonders and the click of a mouse is always more powerful than the
brush of a styling wand, even if that wand is in the hands of the
most competent stylist.
And while the models are at it (writing resolutions), can all of
those who are either 'mature' or married please stop posing as blushing
brides?
|
| |
|
Ali Azmat
"I will promote my album and not hope that my name alone
will sell it."
Ali Azmat is the epitome of a rock star in Pakistan; he has
the attitude and he just doesn't care what anyone thinks.
Ali has been seen turning up in a woollen cap and tattered
jeans at black tie events and he has also had the audacity
to repeatedly state on TV that he would willingly do anything
(make a guest appearance, host an awards show etc) if the
money is worth it. So there are no great pretensions about
his love for the industry - but at least Ali is no hypocrite.
But he's also not very sensible when it comes to branding
his identity and marketing
his product
|
 |
|
|
which is in fact very good. The rock star's current
album suffered a whiplash as Mr Ali Azmat was just too cool and
confident to bother promoting it. Where most musicians hold press
conferences and organize tours to spread the word and build the
hype, Ali left the country when it was time for his album's release.
Dino
"I will not inflict more torture on the people of Pakistan
as they are going through enough already!"
2008 was a year that may have brought democracy to Pakistan but
slowly and gradually it stripped the country of other bare necessities
like food supplies, wheat, electricity, gas (Lahore witnessed an
unprecedented dose of gas load shedding) and even petrol towards
the end. Now in times like these, all one could rely on for entertainment
was a good old reliable radio. But it appeared that to many people,
the punishment of silent solitude was preferable to the punishment
they would be meted out on radio: having to bear endless hours of
RJ and now the proud owner of one album Dino, raving on and on about
his vocal skills and subjecting his listeners to hours and hours
of his music. We hope that this year Dino will realize that music
is not his cup of tea and he will vow to have mercy on the people
of Pakistan who go looking for some relief on the radio. And while
he's at it, maybe he should reconsider his new look. He most certainly
isn't a star but if he's going to plaster himself everywhere then
we'd prefer him to have at least some semblance of style and begin
by stop trying to look like a Justin Timberlake clone.
|
| |
Salman
Ahmed
"I will purchase a new wardrobe and never, ever wear that
black and red kurti again."
We know that economic recession has hit the world badly but
honestly, we do think that Salman Ahmed can afford to add at
least a couple more shirts to his very limited wardrobe. The
objectionable item of clothing, of course, is the black and
red embroidered kurti-jacket that Salman has been wearing time
immemorial. He first wore it in the video of 'Ghoom Tana' and
then at his concert in Kashmir. In between, one saw Salman wear
it at several occasions, interviews included. Salman must promise
that he will put it away and while he's at it, burn the red
Nepali |
 |
|
|
cap too! We get the hint Salman, you are a Sufi rocker hence the whole
ethnic/rock garb…just don't push it so much. Seems like you're
trying way too hard! |
|