Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.  ~Hal Borland

The old year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months!  ~Edward Payson Powell

We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.  ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past.  Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.  ~Brooks Atkinson

We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential.  ~Ellen Goodman

What has no beginning, end, or middle?

A doughnut

What's the greatest worldwide use of cowhide?

To cover cows.

He has married many women, but has never been married. Who is he?

A catholic priest.

Big as a biscuit, deep as a cup, even a river can't fill it up. What is it?

A kitchen strainer.

How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?

Once, because after you subtract, it's not 25 anymore.

If a rooster laid a brown egg and a white egg, what kind of chicks would hatch?

Roosters don't lay eggs.

The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?

Footprints.

What can go up and come down without moving?

The temperature.

What do you serve that you can't eat?

A tennis ball.

What starts with a T, ends with a T, and has T in it?

A teapot.

Random

silliness

Were you long in the hospital?

No, I was the same size that I am now!

What button you won't find in a tailor's shop?

A belly button!

What stories do the ship captain's children like to hear?

Ferry tales!

How did the telephones get married?

In a double ring ceremony!

Why did the child study in the aeroplane?

He wanted higher education!

Why was the broom late?

It over swept!

What kind of hair do oceans have?

Wavy!

Windows fun

• How much do Windows cost, and do you have to buy each one separately?

• Customer: "How much do Windows cost?"

Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100."

Customer: "Oh, that's kind of expensive. Can I buy just one window?"

• Tech Support: "Do you have any windows open right now?"

Customer: "Are you crazy, woman, it's twenty below outside..."

• Customer: "The computer told me it had contagious memory. Does it have a virus?"

Tech Support: "No, that is 'contiguous' memory, as in 'sequential'."

Customer: "That is impossible, it said 'contagious'."

Tech Support: "Type 'mem' and hit the 'enter' key."

Customer: "Oh."