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Am I a flirt?

Dear Guru,

I don't have a problem, but I am really confused bout something. Generally, in our society people assume that girls, who are doing their Matriculation and Intermediate, are flirts. Well, I am also a student of First year but I am not a flirt. I just don't understand why people consider us flirts. I am so disturbed because of this misconception.

Disturbed Mind

Dear Disturbed Mind,

You are a very naÔve girl. We are a society of judgmental people where most of the people have preconceived notions and they are generally in habit of accusing others. Like we easily assume that if some girl works as an airhostess or a model, she must be a fast girl, without bothering to know the truth. Even people don't spare those women who work in offices and label them as 'fast' just because they are out in the field. So, there is no point in worrying about what people say because you can't stop anybody's tongue. But, you can be careful with regard to your own behaviour. It should not be indecent. I advise you to relax and enjoy life. Good luck!

CONFIDENTIAL

Dear Distressed Girl,

It's really good that you are the first one in your family who is doing O Levels, but my dear, there is nothing to boast about it. This is only your misconception that your friends and family members are jealous of you just because you are doing O Levels. I think the problem lies with you and not with them, as you are apparently suffering from superiority complex. I advise you to change your attitude. You are just another students like millions others and you have no right to look down upon your relatives just because they are not as educated as you are. So girl, if you really want to concentrate on your studies, then first you have to take out all the negative thoughts from your mind. Be nice and gentle with everyone. Believe me, no body is jealous of you. It's just your fragmentation of mind. Hope you understand this.

Good luck!

He is so stubborn

Salam Guru,

I love the way you solve different problems. I am also facing a problem, which is not directly related to me, but it is affecting my life as well as my parents' life. I am 18 and am the eldest child of my parents. The problem lies with my youngest brother who is 11. Since he is the youngest one, the whole family pampers him so much that he has become very stubborn. At times he becomes very irritating and wants everyone to go according to his wishes. It's not that I don't love him, but his behaviour has become unbearable for me. He is very bossy and we always end up fighting. To avoid tension at home, my father always wants me to compromise because I am older than him. But my father is also tensed because of our continuous fights. My mother also tries to solve this issue, but to no avail. So kindly guide me what to do?

Tensed Sister!

Dear Tensed Sister,

I can very well understand your situation, but then you need to review the situation with an open heart and mind. Have you ever thought who is responsible for your brother's haughty behaviour? It's your parents. They should not have pampered him to the extent of spoiling him. Partly you are to be blamed as well, for as an elder sister you also did not play your part positively. Anyway, what is done cannot be undone. There is no point in accusing your brother now. He is still very young and with persistent efforts his personality can be moulded before it's too late. All your brother wants from you is love. Don't be harsh with him. You need to be very sensible with him and deal with him tactfully. Right now he is going through a phase, but am sure with the passage of time he will gain maturity and will become a good boy. Tell your parents to stop pampering him and don't give in to his unnecessary demands. When he will see that no body is paying attention to him, he will be left with no choice other than to change his attitude. Sometimes a little bit of strictness is healthy for a child's well being and there is no harm in it.

Good luck!

She is older than I am

Hi Guru,

I am a 16-year-old boy and am seriously in love with a girl in my neighbourhood and she also likes me a lot. But the problem is that she is four years older than me and goes to college, whereas I am a student of class X. Do you think our relationship can work out? Should I consult a palmist?

A Teenaged Lover

Dear Teenaged Lover,

There is no harm in falling in love with a person older to you, but in your case it does not seem appropriate, as you are still a teenager and she is a college student. By the time you finish your college, she would have done her Masters. And how long can she wait for you? You need at least eight more years to establish yourself. I don't think she can wait that much for her parents will pressurise her to get married. You don't need to go to a palmist to ask about your future. Realistically speaking, this relationship is not going to work out. Good luck!

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