Graffiti
Excuses to use in school

- I was late for class because I was fighting with a kid who said that you were not the best teacher in the world.

- I do not have my homework today because last night aliens abducted it.

- I did my homework! It's done in invisible ink, which is why you can't see it.

- Please excuse me from school today, as I have a disease from over exposure to homework, and need to start chemo therapy.

- Sorry <teacher's name>, my dog ate my homework, and then my science project ate my dog. 

- I couldn't do my homework, because my computer had a virus…and I caught it, too!

- You said that the assignment was a piece of cake, so I ate it!

Have you ever wondered?

- Can bald people have hairline fractures?

- How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?

- If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?

- If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the centre of the earth?

- How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when in an emergency surely you would run through it?

- Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up for free anyway?

- If a doctor suddenly had a heart attack while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?

- Why do we sing 'Rock a bye baby' to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground?

- Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?

- Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

- Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Crazy Boredom Busters

- Alphabetise the food in your fridge.

- Announce your candidacy for President.

- Annoy total strangers.

- Apply for a unicorn hunting license.

- Make sound effects for inanimate objects.

- Make up a new language.

- Make up code names for yourself and some friends.

- Make up crazy facts about things and tell them to other people like you are very smart.

- Make up famous sayings.

- Make up poems or songs about your boredom.

- Make your feet talk to each other.

- Ask a question nobody can answer.

- At the bottom of escalators yell "MY SHOELACE!"

- Memorise pi (the number).

- Make up silly nicknames for random strangers, and yell it out at them as they walk past you.

- Imitate everything you hear on TV in an Italian accent.

- Hold a 'who can annoy more people in one minute' contest with your friends.

- Switch places with your cat/dog for a day. (Eat their food, sleep in their bed etc.)