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Confidential

Dear Disgusted Aries,

There is no point being depressed all the time. You are a 27-year-old mature woman and you should be able to face the reality. I don't understand why you are wasting yourself crying after a loser? Had this guy really loved you, he would have fought for you. The fact that he is engaged to someone else under pressure signifies that the guy is a coward. The guy was status conscious, too, and chose what he considered to be beneficial for him. Now, he is giving you all sorts of lame excuses as he does not want to lose you either. But he cannot have his cake and eat it, too. He has to choose one – either his fiancée or you. Rule out the option of court marriage. How can you trust that person? It's very sensible on your part that you don't want to go for court marriage. So, just wipe your tears, forget about him and start living again. Good luck!

She is angry with me

Hi Guru,

I am a 24-year-old boy and a regular reader of your magazine. My problem is related to my friend. He somehow managed to steal my girlfriend's number from my contact list, and tried to talk to her pretending to be me. However, he miserably failed in his attempt as my girlfriend told me all about this and asked me if I knew this boy. I honestly told her that he is my friend. She then blamed me for distributing her number to others, which is not true. After that day she has not really spoken to me. Please tell me how to get her back, I can't live without her.

TM

Dear TM,

You should contact your girlfriend and apologise to her. Tell her honestly that your friend took her number without your knowledge, and that it wasn't your fault. This just seems like a slight tiff because of a misunderstanding, and I doubt that she is seriously angry with you. Give it some time and things will go back to normal. Little misunderstandings and fights are a part of life. You should not lose hope. If she really loves you, she will come back to you. In the meantime, flowers and little gifts are always helpful in winning back a girl's heart. Good luck!

Should I marry him?

Hello Guru,

I am a 21-year-old girl doing my LLB. I am in love with someone who also loves me. The problem is that his elder brother proposed to me a few months back and obviously I turned down his proposal. When he came to know that I was involved with his brother he started creating problems for us. He called at my home and abused me and my parents. Unfortunately, my mother received his call and confronted me, and I told her everything. My family has now stopped me from going to college. The boy I love also had a fight with his family. He has separated his business from his family because he cannot tolerate hearing a word against me. Now he is alone and about to start his own business. He says he will come to my house to propose to me. I love him very much. Tell me: is it love or infatuation? My family members tell me it is just infatuation. Should I marry him?

Girl in Love

Dear Girl in Love,

I really respect your feelings and it seems that the guy is also sincere with you. But unfortunately in our society marriage means union of two families and not of two souls. Both of you are emotional right now and cannot see the implications of this alliance. Whether you like it or not, one's extended family plays an important role in one's life. One just cannot remain cut off from one's family forever. So, even if the guy has separated his business, he cannot be separated from his family forever. Sooner or later he will go back to them. Think sensibly and ask yourself: Is this guy worthy enough for you? Will you be able to live with him happily without the blessings of your parents? Will you be able to survive financially (mind you, right now he is not stable) etc. Keeping these facts in mind, you  will be in a better position to judge the pros and cons of your own situation. My dear, it's better if you forget about him and concentrate on your studies. You are already wasting your precious time by not going to college. Talk to that guy and explain to him very nicely that you cannot marry him without the consent of his and your parents. Tell him that you will only consider marrying him when he comes with his parents. Good luck!

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