Heart to Heart
Before it is too late…

By Fatima Ahmed

"Today was a bloody boring day," I said at the dining table. "Mind your language, young lady," snapped my mother without looking up from her plate. For the rest of the dinner I was intelligent enough to keep my mouth shut. The dinner passed in silence except for the continuous whispering and giggling of my younger brothers, which I had a idea was about their next prank. Oh I hate them so much!

My parents were in a foul mood because they had heard that my brothers had beaten up a boy who was twice as big as them… Well my brothers are li'l devils and that's all I can say about them. For my own good I left the TV room for my bedroom. The moment I entered my room there was a power failure and the whole street was now engulfed in darkness.

I was now alone in my room. Solitude never bothered me. In fact it was like a blessing for me to be away from all the fuss. But suddenly, the dark and gloomy room started to scare me. Out of nowhere a light appeared near my window. It couldn't have been a flashlight; I didn't have any in my room. Then, it started to grow larger and larger. I started feeling emptiness in myself and it became harder for me to keep standing. I was losing control over my body. My eyes closed, I started praying for that all to end. Then it stopped. I opened my eyes to see that I was in a white room; so white that it was creepy. There was a mirror in the centre of the room. I made my way to that mirror to see it. I saw something written on it. It said, 'THE TRUE EXPERIENCE OF LOVE LIES IN LONELINESS'. This sentence made me panic for some unknown reason. I felt an urge to go to my mom and dad; to be there with them only if it wasn't too late. As if it had read my mind, the mirror had something else written on it which said, 'It's too late now'. It was then that I realised that I was really late. Maybe I've lost them…

After a few seconds writing on the mirror said something more. It showed, 'It's true you are no longer there, you have lost your chance.'

I felt that a heavy brick had just been dropped at my stomach. I started crying and my tears burned my cheeks. I tried to remember things about my past, but then I had a feeling that everything was gone, my world had definitely ended and my memories had vanished. They were no more, just like me.

The mirror had something else to say. 'Memories don't die, let us go and live in your memories for sometime.'

Everything whirled around me and then it stopped abruptly. I looked around to see that I was in my primary school, when I was just 6 years old. My younger self raised her hand and picked up two pencils from the table of another girl secretly. The other girl kept asking about her pencils, but I did not tell her. I remembered that day I was scared and guilty but had no courage to return her possessions. I so wanted to shout at my younger self – to stop it from stealing the pencils because I knew I'd regret it later, but it was of no avail.

Then again everything whirled around. After it stopped I saw that I was in my grandpa's room. He was sitting on the arm chair reading the newspaper. A shadow passed by the door. I immediately recognised it; it was I. And so did my grandpa. He called me, but I just vanished. He called me again but I was nowhere to be seen. It was no doubt a touchy scene. My grandpa raised his head, his eyes filled with tears… He sighed and then again turned to his newspaper. How I could I tell him that I would give anything to be there with him!

Then the scene dissolved again and I was in my house. It was the sitting room. My brothers were as usual bickering over the remote control and I was on phone with my friend sitting on the couch and with my feet on the table. How my mother hated it and how I loved it. My younger self started to shout at my younger brothers, "Why the hell don't you understand that I am on phone! Just shut up and get lost. Why couldn't I be the only kid!" After hearing what I had said, my youngest brother started crying. I didn't care and was once again immersed in gossiping with my friend. At that moment I wanted to slap myself and tell my brothers how I loved them.

Then once again the scene dissolved and I was in my room. My mom was also there tucking me in for the night. She gave a kiss on my forehead and said, "Love you baby," and turned away to leave. After opening the door she once again looked at me with sunken eyes and then I realised that she was expecting a reply from me - of 'Love you too, Mom,' but I never said it. That was too much. I could not stand it anymore. I started crying and shaking vigorously. But wait. Why was I shaking? Something was wrong. The scene was disappearing…

I opened my eyes, my mom, dad and brothers were standing there bewildered. 

"What's the matter, honey?" my dad said.

"Nothing." I said and then after thinking for some time said, "Have I ever told you guys that I love all of you more than anything?"

My mum and dad just laughed and hugged me while I heard my brother mumble, "She has finally lost her marbles." I must say: "Say what you want to say before it's too late!"