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Should I oblige my parents?

Salam Guru,

I am a 13-year-old girl and am in seventh class. Next year, I'll have to choose my subjects. I want to study computers whereas my parents want me to study Biology in order to become a doctor. I am so confused. I've met people who have been successful following their parents' dreams yet, at the same time, I've met people who had to start all over again just because they had chosen what their parents wanted them to. I'm a bright student. I respect my parents' wish and I can become a doctor for my parents but in my heart of hearts my interest is totally towards computers. I'm so confused. My uncle did exactly what his parents wanted him to do and then he had to start it all over again. Please guide me.

Myra the Great

Dear Myra the Great,

It's very heartening to know that you are such an obedient daughter. Well, you are too young to decide at this stage what you actually want to become. When you are young you want to do so many things in life but as you grow older you realise what you are actually capable of doing. So there is a difference between 'want to do' and 'to be good at something'. I think there is no harm in listening to your parents. Take Biology and study it for a couple of years. Even after your A-level you can change your subjects. And by that time you'll know exactly where you stand. Meanwhile, you can always go for short courses in computer during your summer breaks that will satisfy your interest in computers. Good luck!

My parents are against cousins marriage

Hello Guru,

I am a 17-year-old girl and am in love with my cousin. He loves me too but the problem is related to our parents. They know that we like each other and have told us strictly not to talk to each other. It's not really possible for us to break up as we have been involved emotionally for the past three years. Actually, our parents believe in the stupid myth that cousin marriage could lead to abnormal children and are not prepared to listen to us. We both really love each other. I am so depressed. Please tell me what to do? 

Depressed Soul

Dear Depressed Soul,

You don't need to feel so depressed. I respect your feelings but your parents are right. It's not a myth: cousin-marriages may lead to complications and abnormalities. It has been scientifically proved too. At this point you are very emotional but if you think rationally you'll understand your parents' valid point. See, they are not your enemies; they are your well wishers. It's better if you detach yourself emotionally from your cousin. You are still too young to indulge in a serious relationship. I am sure your cousin will also realise the importance of the subject. It must be difficult for you initially not to talk to him but soon you'll be fine with the passage of time as they say time is a great healer. Concentrate on your studies to divert your attention. Good luck! 

My parents want me to get married

Dear Guru,

I am 20-year-old and am working in an office. I love one of my colleagues in my office. Maybe he loves me, too, but he has never expressed his feelings. I really want to tell him that I love him but I don't have the courage to do so. I want him to take the initiative. Now, the problem is that my parents are getting me engaged to my uncle's son. He is a decent guy and earns well but I don't like him. I don't want to marry him. I really love that colleague of mine. I am in a difficult situation. Please tell me what should I do?

Damsel in Love

Dear Damsel in Love,

I am really amazed at your simplicity. How come you are in love with that colleague of yours without even knowing him? You are not a teenager; you are an office going-girl and you should be bold enough to talk to that guy. It's rather strange that he hasn't taken the initiative. In any case, to remove the ambiguity you need to have a one-to-one talk to that guy so that you'll know exactly whether he loves you or not. As for your engagement, if you don't like that guy then you should tell your parents about it. They are not aware of your true emotions. It's better if you tell them now than to regret afterwards. In any case, you have to decide your own fate. Good luck!

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