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Money matters

Dear Guru,

 I am a 19-year-old boy from Lahore. I am studying in an elite college where everyone likes me. Well, I am a good student and people like my good behaviour. Anyway, the problem is that somehow people are under the impression that I am very rich, although this is not the case. Also, all my friends are from upper class and I like to mingle with them as my mental level matches theirs. However, some of my college friends came to my house few days back and they got disappointed for my house is very small. After that, they have started avoiding me. I don't want to leave them, but it really hurts when I see them avoiding me. Can you please help me out?  

Confused Libra

Dear Confused Libra,

First of all, you have to come out of your 'make-believe' world. You need to face reality. You have to accept the fact that you are not as wealthy as your peers are. You are studying in an elite college because you are a good student and you are liked by your colleagues for your good behaviour. But it does not mean that they are your friends. Actually, in today's materialistic world, social status counts a lot. You can make rich friends only if you are rich. It's understandable that your so-called friends got disappointed when they saw your house and you were instantly 'out' of their circle. My dear, don't go after such selfish people who are more interested in what you possess; they are not friends or your status wouldn't have mattered to them. I suggest that you make sincere friends who do not judge friends in the light of money, preferably belonging to your own class. You can always make a bright future if you study hard. And when you achieve something you'll make all kinds of friends automatically as money has the power to attract people. Now, I guess you must have realised where the shoe pinches. Good luck!

My dadi is a problem maker

Salam Guru,

I am a 16-year-old girl living in Lahore. My problem is actually not my problem; it's my mom's problem related to the mother and daughter-in-law syndrome.

Actually, we live in a joint family. My grandmother and my two chachas and chachis also live with us. I am the only daughter of my parents. My dad is a very loving person. Anyhow, the problem is that my dadi always creates fuss in the house which is really annoying and it is affecting my studies. She always shouts at my mother who is her eldest daughter-in-law and my poor mother does not even say a word to her. My dadi, along with her other two bahus (my chachis), conspires against my mother. My mother tolerates all her nonsense and she does not even let me say anything to her. I am so fed up with this situation. Please help me out.

Worried Daughter

Dear Worried Daughter,

You are a very thoughtful daughter who cares about her mother. But actually you are too young to understand the sensitivity and complexity of these relationships. There must be some reason for your mother's pliant behaviour. She is tolerating her mother-in-law's harsh attitude only because she wants to keep peace at home. She is a sensible woman who does not want to ruin her married life because of trivial domestic issues. A woman is ready to accept all hardships if she has her husband's trust and love and in that case your mother is fortunate to have an affectionate husband. My dear, don't be so emotional, you can always talk to your father in this regard. I just hope that your father is assertive enough to make her mother realise her fault without being disrespectful to her. Actually, in our society there is so much stress on elders' respect that even if they are wrong one cannot find courage to correct their mistakes. I advise you to stay away from the scene because you are a granddaughter and it won't look nice if you argue with your grandmother. All the best!

Attention: YCL Aficionados

Salam Guru,

I am a student of BBA-IT final semester. My problem is that I want to know the procedure to attend YLC (Young Leaders Conference). I have been eager to be a part of YLC for the last two years. But the problem is that I can't afford the expenses. Recently, I have learned that the enlisted companies in YLC can sponsor a student. I would like to go for it but kindly guide me how to go about it. I really want to attend this year's YLC.

A Student In Trouble

Dear Student In Trouble,

I really appreciate your enthusiasm for participating in YCL. You can enter the essay competition for which the topic is: Evolution of Leadership. If you are placed 1st, 2nd or 3rd, you will be aboard. You can also try to get sponsorship from different organisations that sponsor the YLC. Send your CV to them and if they are impressed, they would give you a berth at this year's YLC.

Please write to the Guru at trustusproblems@yahoo.com

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