|
Graffiti
Jokes about doctors
- What's the difference
between a general practitioner and a specialist?
One treats what you have,
the other thinks you have what he treats.
- Dentist begging the
patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most
painful screams?
Patient: Why? Doc, it isn't all
that bad this time.
Dentist: There are so many people
in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the 4 o'clock ball
game.
- A woman went to the
dentist. She commented that it must be tough spending all day with your hands
in someone's mouth. The denstist replied, "I just think of it as having
my hands in their wallet."
- Doctor: Did you know that
there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body?
Tom: Shhh, doctor! My dog's outside in the waiting room!
- Scene: doctor talking to
a patient lying in a hospital bed. "Your condition is so rare, we're not
sure we're pronouncing it right."
- A veterinarian was
feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual
questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she
interrupted him: "Hey look, I'm a vet - I don't need to ask my patients
these kind of questions: I can tell what's wrong just by looking. Why can't
you?" The doctor nodded, looked her up and down, wrote out a
prescription, and handed it to her and said, "There you are. Of course,
if that doesn't work, we'll have to have you put down."
- The resident began his
examination of an elderly man by asking him what brought him to the hospital.
The man replied, "An ambulance."
- The patient went to his
doctor for a checkup, and the doctor wrote out a prescription for him in his
usual illegible writing. The patient put it in his pocket, but he forgot to
have it filled. Every morning for two years, he showed it to the conductor as
a railroad pass. Twice, it got him into the movies, once into the baseball
park, and once into the symphony. He got a raise at work by showing it as a
note from the boss. One day, he mislaid it. His daughter picked it up, played
it on the piano, and won a scholarship to a conservatory of music.
- One physician has
discovered a sure cure for nervousness in women. He tells them that it's a
sign of old age.
Contributed by KT
|
