Graffiti
Kids say the funniest things...

Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because they keep journals of amusing things their students have written in papers. Here are a few examples:

1. The future of "I give" is "I take."

2. The parts of speech are lungs and air.

3. The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.

4. A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the population.

5. Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.

6. The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.

7. The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.

8. We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.

9. A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.

10. The climate is hottest next to the Creator.

11. Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

Learn a new word each day

Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.

Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Burglarise: What a crook sees with.

Counterfeiters: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

Eclipse: What an English barber does for a living.

Eyedropper: A clumsy ophthalmologist.

Heroes: What a guy in a boat does.

Left Bank: What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.

Paradox: Two physicians.

Parasites: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Pharmacist: A helper on the farm.

Polarise: What penguins see with.

Primate: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.

Relief: What trees do in the spring.

Selfish: What the owner of a seafood store does.

Subdued: A guy that works on one of those submarines.

Reading between the lines

1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found

2 hard at work at his desk. He works independently, without

3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never

4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and always

5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended

6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee

7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no

8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound

9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be

10 classed as an asset employee, the type which cannot be

11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be

12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be

13 executed as soon as possible

Addendum:

That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines

Frugal

Mary's fourth-grade homework assignment was to make sentences using the words in her spelling list, along with the definition.

Coming across the word 'frugal' in the list, she asked her father what it meant. He explained that being frugal meant you saved something.

Her paper read:

Frugal: to save

Sentence: Maid Marion fell into a pit when she went walking in the woods so she yelled for someone to come get her out.

She yelled "Frugal me, Frugal me!"