Slumdog Millionaire: Missing!

So many Oscars and so many awards all over the world would make this mammoth of a film a cinch for a remake. However, in modern day Pakistan it would be remade with a small twist. Beginning from exactly where the original ends, Slumdog Millionaire: Missing would be the story of Jamal after he has earned his millions, when he suddenly goes missing. Latika mysteriously disappears too and thus begins the media speculation on whether Jamal and Latika have unnecessarily eloped, have they been kidnapped by any one of the rogue elements on the loose or have they both vowed to a life of celibacy, donating their hard earned cash for religious warfare, and ending up in some half blown up girls school in Swat. The climax will take shape when Geet, the Sikhni from Bhatinder will hop onto the next train to the hill station promising to bring them back. Sadly she does not have Shahid Kapur to accompany her but Karisma Kapoor (from Fiza) considers this a good enough role for a long awaited comeback. The film ends in a theatrical song and dance rendition of 'Aa Dekhen Zara Kiss Mein Kitna Hai Dum!'

Out of Fashion

Madhur Bhandarkar's box office hit Fashion would suddenly become Out of Fashion in the absence and prohibition of any fashionable attire. There would be a bit of a Benjamin Button happening in the sequel as the aspiring model Meghna Mathur (played now by either Reema or better still, Meera) would reverse her journey into stardom, starting off as a super model until forced to cover up and head back home. She would give up all evil and sinful elements of her life, move back in with her parents in some long-forgotten city of the Punjab (possibly Faridkot) and get married to one of the local men. But Luck by Chance she would travel with her husband (by dinghy) to Bombay, escape during some ground clashes and rediscover her second date with fate in Bollywood. Her husband, now renamed Ramchand, would look for her high and low, see her on a billboard and spend the rest of his life singing 'Dilwale Dulahniya Le Jayeinge' in front of Yash Raj Studios.

She will end up on one of the hundred spiritual channels on TV, with Sarmad playing his guitar in the studio next door. But they will never recognize each other because he will have shaven his beard off and she will be in an opaque burqa…this film will complete a trilogy in Part 3, where they will unite when Sarmad will pick up the taweez (not locket since photographs are prohibited) that will fall from her hands and serenade 'Pardah Hai Pardah'.

Maarein Zameen Par

This sweet yet incredibly thought provoking story of a child struggling with dyslexia will transform into an incredibly thought provoking story of a young girl struggling with her femininity. Maarein Zameen Par: The Chase Begins will follow the story of Nadaan Nadia (obviously played by Babra Sharif), a young Pakistani girl in search of love who falls into the wrong hands and ends up being locked up in a shuttlecock burqa and beaten by her husband every day. Her soul will obviously be crushed, her hopes for ever finding true love torn apart. However, she will go straight to Nabila's for an extreme makeover and after several nips and tucks, she will exit transformed and unrecognizable, getting her second chance of glory in a soap commercial after which she will change her name to Susan Boyle and make it big in Hollywood. Jai Ho!