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Books and magazines every
present-day Pakistani
youngster must own …
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I
Was A Hijabless Teenage Delinquent
By Farhat Hushpuppy
A racy pulp thriller by famous Islamist suspense writer, Farhat
Hushpuppy. This novelette follows the adventures of a teenage
girl who stumbles through life as a misguided person indulging
in dangerous, delinquent and immoral activities such as studying
Darwinism, Astronomy, Logic, Painting, Music and supporting
satanic causes such as Birth Control, Women's Rights and the
anti-Hudood Law movement.
However, the immoral, misguided and misinformed girl manages
to find peace and spiritual meaning, a place in heaven (and
the National Assembly), by simply adopting the hijab and becoming
the fourth wife of a wrinkling, 72-year-old Islamic evangelist.
Groovy, no? |
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Meatball
Days: Pepsi Sidhwah
A griping novel about a middleclass young Hindu girl who distressed
by the unfortunate defeat of the BJP and the rise of the alienating,
westernized, decadent, retrogressive and spoilsport anti-globalization
movement in India, decides to revolt by highlighting her Hindu roots.
She does this by convincing her brave yuppie husband to die of a heart
attack (after swallowing unbranded, high-on-cholesterol meatballs),
so she can perform the glorious Hindu tradition of Sati.
She becomes a heroine to millions of young, middleclass Indian women
who pledge that each one of them will do all they can to persuade
the westernized, decadent, retrogressive and spoilsport anti-globalization
activists to stop attacking McDonald's joints and shopping malls and
instead invest their energies in the more constructive, indigenous,
nationalistic, progressive acts like attacking old Muslim mosques,
Christian missionaries and uncouth, unbranded meatball eaters like
Laloo Prasad Yadav.
This powerful novel is about to be turned into an equally powerful
Bollywood flick, "Yeh Bill Aap Ka Hua" and the recent anti
(unbranded) meatball film, "Dilwale Biryani Le Jayenge."
Socialism Destroyed My Life: By Tariq Ali Jr.
Written by famous left-wing intellectual, Tariq Ali's son, Haider
Ali (aka Tariq Ali Jr.), this book tells a heart wrenching tale of
Haider's formative years as a teenager and how he had to go through
the horrors of living in a household where he was forced to read the
violent works of Marx and Chomsky instead of Harry Potter, and how
he was brainwashed through magazines like Socialism Today instead
of healthy and enlightening mags like GQ, Stardust and GT.
He was also pushed to vote for the British Labor Party and worse of
all, forced to watch BBC's blasphemous anti-Thatcher comedy show,
"Spitting Image" repeatedly on the VCR!
The book also tells us how the author tried to escape the pain and
torture by rebelling against his tyrannical, Marxist father by quitting
smoking, starting to jog, working out at the gym and taping episodes
of Friends over Spitting Image. |
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the brave Haider finally managed to make his father throw him out
when Haider joined the racist British National Party and British
Islamic Youth Front simultaneously (and shaving his head to become
a skinhead and as well as growing a 21\2 ft beard to look like Osama!).
The most uplifting part of the book is when Haider one day meets
his father half way between a shopping mall and a mosque and tells
him: "I am absolutely, totally confused and proud of it!"
Then, raising pro-Al Qaeda slogans, dashes excitedly to check out
Nike's new Air Pumps at Harrods.
Cute, no?
Paranoid 9\11
A weekly magazine published by and for gossipy right wing duds ticked
off at the success of Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9\11.
Highlights of this month's Paranoid 9\11 …
•Beware! The next major terrorist attack may come through
Muslim showers.
• How gay organizations funded the making of Fahrenheit 9\11.
• How black gangs funded gay organizations that funded Fahrenheit
9\11.
• How Al-Qaeda funded black gangs that funded gay organizations
that funded Fahrenheit 9\11.
•Kofi Annan is a hostile extraterrestrial.
• Is your child's black kindergarten friend selling him crack?
• Dexter's Lab on Cartoon Network may be subliminally prompting
your child to write hateful German graffiti on synagogue walls.
•Are Arab Terrorists contaminating Coca-Cola with Mecca Cola?
Talwaar Times
A weekly socio-political magazine for passionate young born-again
Muslims.
Highlights of this month's Talwaar Times …
• How to procreate without having sex
• Brand new ways to burn books on Marx and Darwin
• Beard and paiancha sizes according to religious tradition.
• Brand new ways to convert hijabless women.
• Reviews of the latest videos of beheadings in Iraq
• Brand new ways to burn condoms
• Brand new ways to establish the same old ways.
• BJP vow to build shopping mall in place of destroyed mosque
• MMA vow to build chapli kabab restaurant in place of burned
church in Peshawar
• Burmese Buddhist jirga sentence man for murdering innocent
mosquito
• Baghdad-based Islamist Group beheads infidel Australian
mosquito.
• Deobandi group says pop music is qayamat ki nishani
• Barelvi group says cable TV is qayamat ki nishani
• Shia group says fast food is qayamat ki nishani
• Confucius group says ping pong is qayamat ki nishani
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