"In jealousy there is more self-love than love". 

-- François, Duc de La Rochefoucauld

She was trembling with fear. The unseen, mysterious ghosts were following her again. She tried to move, but couldn't. Her old hands were shivering. She was 50-year-old now, but looked like the oldest species on earth. The ghosts and evils from her past life were fighting with her, reminding her of the sins she had committed…

So you don't like a person because you imagine that he/she possesses something that you don't have. You feel sick when you see him/her, or see anyone talking about him and it becomes worse if you think about him/her when you are alone. It is because he or she is wealthier, more knowledgeable or smarter than you. And you don't have the guts to appreciate him/her. You hide these feelings inside yourself. This results in sickness, both physical and spiritual. This is jealousy.

Jealousy is a feeling which is frustrating, annoying, painful and even embarrassing. If, unchecked, it can single-handedly destroy many lives.

Aliena always hated her younger sister Maria. She hated to share her toys and parents' love with little Maria. She always wanted her to die. When Aliena was eight and Maria five, they were playing and went to the kitchen. Aliena asked Maria to burn a matchstick so that they could play with it... Maria was holding a burning matchstick. She suddenly slipped on the floor and her hands got burnt.

Aliena was in tenth standard when she had to face contenders in academic field. She was a brilliant student and wanted to be the most prominent figure of the class. But there were some girls who were extremely talented and creative. Later, they became more popular with the teachers due to their effortless writing skills.

A rumour was spread in the class that there were a couple of girls who were distributing other girls' numbers among 'bad guys'. Many girls in the class were getting weird calls from boys. They disclosed the names of those girls who had distributed the numbers. And those girls were none other than Aliena's contenders. Within a week they were suspended from school.

It was one of the happiest days of Aliena's life. She felt as if she had conquered the world. She sent a message of thanks to the 'bad guys'.

Jealousy has poisoned all parts of our life. Whether we are living with someone who is suspicious of our every move, or our classmates who don't want us to get good grades, or dealing with a co-worker who resents our promotion -- the poison is 'real'.

There are some important reasons which cause people to become jealous of others:

* Anger: When a person is hurt by someone, he develops resentfulness, which causes jealousy.

* Pride and love for fame: When someone achieves a high status, he develops pride in himself and his greed for fame and status grows more and more. He cannot tolerate anyone else at his position.

* Evil nature of the person: If a person is jealous without any specific reason then there is an evil residing inside him which doesn't want others to succeed in life.

Aliena was now doing BBA from a very renowned university. She was one of the most prominent and popular girl in her class as she had very good communication and presentation skills. She was liked by the teachers, but there was evil behind her beautiful face. Although unseen, it could be felt…

She dominated her group of seven friends with her strong personality. It was more of a leader-follower relationship rather than friendship. Aliena taught her friends how to defeat and humiliate others in the class, especially the "paindoo" girls. This group of girls was the most hypocritical and diplomatic in class. They worked hard to get "A", not for themselves but to suppress and beat others. Aliena was really good at buttering teachers in order to get good grades. And it was working for her.

In the third semester, a very lively and talented group emerged to be one of the best groups in class in terms of presentations and projects. They were getting the highest marks in both projects and presentations. They obviously became a threat for Aliena. It was unbearable for her that the group she didn't like had become the centre of attention for the teachers.

Aliena started her evil plan with a rumour that these girls were getting readymade projects from the guys of other universities. She also added that this group had been doing smart cheating in both mid-terms and finals.

The final exams for the fourth semester had started in the month of February. It was the first paper of Business Finance. The exam had started, but after 30 minutes the silence in the examination room was broken by the invigilator. A piece of paper on which solved numerical was printed was found beneath the chair of a girl (member of the group which Aliena hated). The poor girl could not even breathe properly because she was being accused of cheating. She was the student who had the highest internal marks in Business Finance. But she was helpless and in the end her paper was cancelled.

At 5:30 p.m., when the paper was over, Aliena was in cafeteria with her friends giving them a treat on another victory. She was soaring above the skies thinking that nobody could ever dare to beat her.

Nobody has ever addressed the real cause of jealousy because it a messy and complicated emotion. In our routine life, we often hear statements like, "it's your fault", or "it's all in your head". These statements are not acceptable, because at their base there is.

* Fear of being abandoned

* Fear of loss of love

* Fear of losing a successful image

* Fear of being dishonoured in the relationship

* Fear of being shamed in the community

* Lack of attention, excitement, affection and respect from others

* Desire for revenge

Once you identify and examine these emotions, you must immediately try to heal them.

If you are willing to take action against 'jealousy' residing inside you, you'll have to give time to yourself.

If you think that happy thoughts would make your feelings vanish, or a Fairy Godmother will just wave her magic wand and make it happen, you are wrong.

Aliena got a job in a multinational bank. It was entirely a new experience for her. She was glad to be a part of such a great company. Life had been going smoothly for her. But after one year, employee promotion strategy was implemented in the company. The new employees were supposed to be promoted on the basis of their performance evaluation results. Saliha was on top of the list. It was also heard that she would be given the award for "Best New Employee of the Year" in the annual ceremony of the company.

One week before the award ceremony, the company directors received Saliha's resignation letter. The reason for her resignation was again very weird. Saliha's name was attached with her project manager, who was a 35-year-old married man; rumours about the scandal were spread in all the departments of the company. Saliha's fiancée received an SMS about the scandal from an unknown number.

At the award ceremony, Aliena was the lady of the evening. She was holding the award, and a devil was smiling behind her beautiful face.

Take baby steps towards healing yourself. First of all, talk to yourself, understand your feelings, but don't try to defend them. Once you have identified where jealousy is coming from, visit a psychologist with whom you can share your feelings. I am not recommending any friend or relative, because a psychologist can better interpret the feelings inside you. Or, if you don't want to visit a psychologist then do it yourself…YES! You can do it yourself as well. But you'll have to give time to yourself. There are many websites and CDs available in the market, which can help in solving jealousy issues. I'll recomthe following e-books:

"How to Get Free of Jealousy in Your Close Relationships" by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks.

This special digital report in PDF format contains the master key to eliminate jealousy from your relationships and life.

"Daily Pearls of Wisdom" by Eva Gregory

This wonderful little work by Eva Gregory will keep your spirits lifted everyday as you take in one timeless bit of wisdom after another...

Aliena was happily married to the person she wanted to marry. She was enjoying her life. But after a certain period, the ghosts from her past life started following her. She screamed at nights due to some unknown fear. She had everything she wanted in her life, but she was never happy. She could never feel the happiness normal human being can feel. She was given anti-depression pills. Till now she had been playing with others' lives, but now life has started playing with her. Her husband divorced her and accused her of being a "psycho". She was left with nothing in her hands. She had no kids, her parents were dead and her friends abandoned her. Finally, she was sent to a mental asylum. Doctors were unable to identify the reason for her sickness and could not cure her. Later, she was left alone in the asylum, but she was not alone! She was still surrounded by the evils and ghosts of the past. She hated herself; she wished she had never been jealous in her life.

Her heart was sinking with the burden of her sins. She didn't want to die, but wanted to atone for her sins, Allah does not give many chances to people like Aliena…..because jealousy is the root of all the devilish deeds.

I have recommended two books on overcoming jealousy but it is better that you follow Islamic teachings and guidelines about envy and jealousy.

The Prophet (SAW) said: "Beware of jealousy, for verily it destroys good deeds the way fire destroys wood." [Abu Dawood]

When Allah's Messenger (SAW) was asked: "Who are the best people?" He (SAW) replied: "The one with a clean heart and truthful tongue." They asked: "We understand a truthful tongue, but what does a clean heart mean?" He (SAW) answered: "It is the heart of one that is pious, pure, and free of sin, transgressions, hatred and jealousy." [Ibn Majah]