Humour

My first (and last) crush!

By Syeda Bushra Ali Shah

Main yeh chaoon ke usay aur na dekhay koi,

Wo yeh chahay ke usay sara zamana chahay

To have an artiste as one's beloved is no sin, but falling in love with a singer and rueing his betraying behaviour as alluded to in the above verse should be. As a matter of fact, a singer's job is to enthral his audiences by virtue of his voice.

So, it is the very nature of their job that saves Farhan, Gohar and Amir from being stigmatised by me as bewafa on this count.

Mine with Jal is a unique love affair because I love three persons at the same time; proudly and unabashedly. I don't have any qualms about letting all know that I love three. Even I don't conceal my amorous feelings for Farhan from Gohar and Amir, and those for Gohar from the rest of the two and so on.

It penetrated my skull only after Gohar parted ways with Jal's ex-vocalist that love had crept up on me. By the time I realised it, the poison had percolated through and the wound had became incurable. My ears slid into even worse condition, so much so that I started having earache when music by any band/singer other than Jal reached my ears.

My innocent heart that would start beating rapidly with fear upon receiving phone calls from unknown numbers still does the same on such occasions --though for some different reason now. Such rapid heartbeat comes from the excitement over the ever-tantalising hope that this time it must be Jal's call.

How besotted I am with Jal! I let all my friends in on this love affair after pledging them to secrecy. When this news started doing the rounds, I went to them one by one to have a word about allegedly leaking out my secret. To my embarrassment I ended up being unable to find even a single person I hadn't confided my affair into.

In days following Jal's split, I would slow down while passing by any group of girls just to listen in on them speculating on the cause of the split. I never winced at the memory of sticking my oars in to side with the original Jal.

When three's company, the fourth one is always crowd. Here Jal comes on the stage, there the audience starts dancing to their songs. Time just flies by when I play their music to beguile the tedium. My day begins and ends with Jal. I wish to end my life with Jal, too!

My hitherto unmet desire to meet them, coupled with so far unrequited love, has turned me into a highly illusive girl. Some days ago, I met my uncle -- my best ever friend. In the heat of emotions, I poured out my heart to him, too. I am lost for words to describe how I felt when he promised getting me Jal's contact number. Whether he can fulfil his promise and whether I survive the carbolic arrest that my ecstatic mood is dragging me towards remains highly unpredictable. 

I wish, Jal, you fulfil your promises that you made to me in your song Teri yaad in which you said Main laut aon ga. In fact, for many days I kept the doors of my house open till late night but you never showed up. Instead you don't stick to one request. Now you insist Sajni pas bulao na, now you request Sajni pas aaona. Tell me how come all that is possible without my knowing your address or contact number? Come on, guys! Talk sense.

Still I gave perusal to every telephone directory that I could lay my hands on to search your number but in vain. In view of my desperation to meet or at least talk to you, my uncle warns I can fall easy prey to exploiters. I know that, but I can't help wearing my heart on my sleeves. Hey guys! Before someone stoops so low as to exploit me at your cost, be pre-emptive to prevent me going into someone else's hands. Shake a leg before it's too late!