I want to study

Dear Guru,

I have recently completed my graduation with excellent grades and I want to continue my studies, but I can't because my financial situation is very poor. My father passed away when I was very young and my mother has been supporting the family ever since. I know what my mother, sister and brother went through to put me through graduation. I don't know what to do, how to pursue higher studies. Help me out please.

Interested In Studies

Dear Interested In Studies,

You are blessed to have a doting mother who has raised her children single-handedly. Credit goes to your siblings, too, who have helped her out. Since you are a bright student, so if you are really interested in higher studies, then you should start looking for universities that offer scholarships. This way, your family won't have to pay for your tuition fee as your expenses would be covered by the university. Another thing that you can do is that if you really want to share your mother's burden of responsibilities, start earning. Now, it's your time to pay back. In these times of inflation it's really no joke to pay off all the utility and electricity bills etc. You can do some part-time job or give tuitions. There are hundreds of students who are studying as well as contributing financially to their families. After a few tough years hopefully things will settle down. Good luck!

I am ignored by my parents

Dear Guru,

I am a 23- year-old girl and my problem is that my parents don't listen to me at all when it comes to making decisions. They tell me that I am no more a kid and I have grown up, so I should start acting like one. But they don't take my consent in major decisions. My second problem is that whenever our relatives or friends visit us, I end up doing all the house chores. I feel more like a servant than a family member. Even when we go over to some relative's place, I am asked by my mother to help the hosts out. How should I tell my parents that I am important too and I need to be taken care of and at least considered when making decisions about the family as a whole? Also, I am very fond of writing stories and articles. How should I tell them that I want to write? I am very confused and angry at my parents. Help me out.

Confused Capri Girl

Dear Confused Capri Girl,

For parents, their children always remain kids regardless of their age. If you really want your parents to take you seriously then you have to act maturely. Your parents are right in asking you to act your age and if they don't take your consent in some issues, I'm sure their intention behind this is to save you from any tension. You should feel happy to have such caring parents who are there to face every problem. You should thank God that you have no responsibilities on your shoulders, so enjoy your carefree life while you can.

Coming to your second problem, I think you just need to bring a change in your attitude. Don't you think girls should take interest in household chores? What's wrong if your parents tell you to help others? They are simply trying to inculcate good manners in you. So, don't think they treat you as a servant. They really love you and want to see you as a responsible person.

Thirdly, if you think you are creative enough then write something and send it to different magazines or newspapers. If it gets published, you can show it to your parents. I am sure they'll appreciate your talents. So, don't be angry with your parents and try to appreciate their concern and love for you. Good luck!

To be or not to be

Dear Guru,

I am a 17-year-old girl and I have a pen pal with whom I have been talking a lot. My parents don't like such friendships so I haven't told them anything about him. His parents don't allow him to interact with girls as well so we are kind of in the same boat. It's not that I am emotionally attached to him or something like that so I feel I can easily break up with him any time, but he always asks me not to leave him. I am very confused. Should I stop talking to him altogether and ignore his pleas or continue talking to him and hide our friendship from my parents?

Confused Pal

Dear Confused Pal,

It's rather strange to have pen pal in this age. When your parents don't approve this kind of friendship, why are you betraying them? And anyway, when you are not even emotionally attached to that friend of yours then what's the use of having friendship with him? There is no point in keeping this clandestine relationship. Just tell your pen pal that you are no longer interested in keeping any connection with him. If he insists in continuing the friendship then simply ignore his pleas. You are just playing with fire so stay away. Good luck!