Snubbed!

Dear Guru,

I am a-24-year-old man and I have a very serious problem. Ever since I was in college I was in love with this girl B. Now, I have graduated, got a good job and I'm quite well settled. So, I asked my parents to go and meet B's parents, but my parents did something very unexpected. They did go and see her parents, but asked for B's hand in marriage for my elder brother because they think he should get married first. I was shocked at this unfair move and talked to them about it, but they did not pay any attention to my protest. B is very depressed about this, too, but she can't say anything to her parents. My elder brother who knows I am in love with B is not saying anything either. I feel betrayed by my parents and I want to leave my home and never come back. I feel lost. What should I do?

G-65 Child Eagle

Dear G-65 Child Eagle,

Your parents' insensitive attitude towards you shows that they are not interested in your marriage and they seem more interested in your elder brother's marriage. There is nothing wrong in it if they want their eldest son to marry off first, but it's totally unfair on their part to betray you like this and select the girl of your choice for their other son, especially when you had made your feelings for her known to them. They could have looked for some other girl or they could have asked you to wait or get engaged till they find some other suitable girl for your elder brother. They should have taken your feelings into consideration as you are their son, too. Anyway, you should not feel disheartened or dejected. Now, you have to fight for your rights. Ask B to talk to her parents about you. If she really likes you then she should muster courage to let her family knows what she really wants. Meanwhile, try to persuade your elder brother to say 'no' to this proposal. If he rejects this proposal, it will become easier for you to do the rest. You can also involve some close friend or relative of yours to convince your parents not to do this. Don't lose heart. I am sure you'll get what you want. Good luck!  

Wishing for stars

Dear Guru,

I am writing to you not because of some love problem but because I have a genuine issue and you have to help me out. I am very good at mathematics and science but I don't want to pursue a career in either of these subjects. I am very much interested in performing arts and I want to become a movie director or an actor. Let me make it clear that I don't want to become a television or theatre actor/director; I want to do something in the movie industry. However, I am very worried because of the terrible condition of Pakistan's movie industry, and I don't see any future in it. Lately I have been watching Bollywood movies and I am very impressed. Their industry is far ahead of us, and I want to try my luck there but don't know how. Please guide me.

Confused Virgo

Dear Confused Virgo,

There are so many things in life which you want to do, but they are hard to accomplish. And then there are things that you are naturally good at and you can easily achieve them. I think your desire to become a movie star or a director seems like a far-fetched idea whereas you can easily make a career in the fields you are good at as you seem to have a good mind.

Movie stars or directors are naturally talented and creative people. Do you think you are creative, too? Have you ever tested your skills? Have you ever been a part of a school/college play? Have you ever taken a screen test? My dear, this is not as easy as you think. The road to stardom is a bumpy one with lots of hardships and struggles. So forget about becoming a star and concentrate on your career which is as bright as your dreams. Good luck! 

Stranger in the city

Dear Guru,

I am a 12-year-old girl and my problem is that my parents have moved to a new city and I cannot adjust well here. I used to be a good student and had many friends in my old school, but I am almost friendless in my new school. I have tried making new friends, but no one seems to like me. My teachers are not fond of me either. I talked to my parents about it and they told me to give it time. Tell me what to do.

Friendless

Dear Friendless,

Your parents are right. It's always difficult to adjust to new surroundings but with time you'll start feeling better. Don't feel upset. You'll make new friends. Don't think that nobody likes you. It's just that they'll take their own sweet time to understand you. So what if the city is new? At least you have your parents with you. And I'm sure you will also start liking your new school and city gradually. Just give yourself some time and take things lightly. Good luck!

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