Eid just went by and now the infamous Pakistani wedding season has hit the ladies of this country. This is a very hard and sensitive time for women; there are things to be done, decisions to be made! And who's the one person they'll be hanging out with more than anyone else on this planet during this time? No, not their husbands, not their best friend, not even the bride... this time is just for one man to shine!

Yes, armed with an inch tape and a scissor, a tailor is changing women's lives, one jora at a time. Tailors are an integral part of any festive season as they provide 'tailor-made' solutions to us. Old maybe gold but new is flashy and when it comes to big events in our lives, the flashier the better. Occasions like weddings, Eid, birthdays, dinners etcetera are incomplete without a trip to 'master sahib'. And despite the availability of designers' clothes, and ready-to-wear stuff, these tailors are doing a roaring business which indicates women's reliance on them. The obsession women have with clothes is hard to understand but the bottom line is that they strive to achieve those envious glares and compliments on wearing that newly stitched and fashionably designed dress.

Usually women have their own trusted tailors and go to them while the tailors too give precedence to their old customers. And while you've heard the horrible stories of tailor terror from many women, we doubt you've ever known if the grass is really greener on the other side. So this week You! brings for you the stories of your favourite masters of fabric and the woes of women that love them.

It is an art!

You didn't think a catalogue gets made on its own did you? Tailoring isn't an easy job. It requires a lot of creativity and hard work. Most women believe they can find a design and just about anyone can reproduce it for them. Wrong! Experienced women will never make that assumption, and a proper tailor will never commit to a design he can't make. "Tailoring is not just cutting and stitching; it is an art. We not only take orders from our clients but also guide them on what will look good on them and what won't. For example a certain kind of neckline will only suit some people; it has to be chosen according to their face-shape; Women with oval-shape face should wear round neck and women with round face should have V-neck. Smaller and plump women should buy fabrics with vertical lines to look thin and tall. Similarly, we suggest that women that are chubby should wear dark colours to look slim. Most of our valuable customers follow our advice and come again and again to us because they trust us. There are a lot of my customers that even come to me with their ready-made stuff from high-end designer clothes and want alteration like sizing etcetera," says Mr. Iqbal of Tailors and Tailors at Tariq Road, Karachi.

The business factor!

In an age where the prices of almost all things have gone up and every business is badly hit by the recession, tailors are also bearing the brunt of the situation. They have been losing customers from the lower middle class. "Some lower middle class housewives have started stitching their own clothes at home or from someone within the family to make both ends meet while the rising cost of material like thread and electricity have made it harder for us to meet the demands of our customers and as such have slashed our orders," says Mr. Munnawar of Al-Munnawar Tailors. Even the labour charges for workers have doubled during the last one and a half years. Most tailors work in rental shops, the rents of which have also gone up during the last couple of years.

"Unscheduled load-shedding has hit us the most. It has become difficult to meet the orders or to stitch on time. Electricity is the biggest hurdle in meeting their deadlines. Even those that use generators are at a loss because it raises the cost of production by a long margin. Majority of tailors cannot afford generators in the first place. The smaller establishments have no choice but to give up their customers and subsequently their revenue. To compensate for their losses this year in view of thin orders, many tailoring shops have pushed up stitching charges by Rs. 50-100 per suit. That has caused further problems for both the tailors and the customers," complains master Saeed who has been in this field for the past fifteen years.

Master of his work!

Women are always on the prowl for the perfect darzi and once they find him they hang on for life! Even if they leave the country, when they visit once a year, these women can be seen taking clothes by the truckload to their favourite 'master sahib'. Why go through the hassle of ready-made or designer clothes when you know exactly where to get the perfect fit?

Style changes every season and evolves each year, it should be kept in mind that fashion should not be followed blindly instead employed in your lifestyle as a tool to enhance your personality. Ready-made clothes usually correspond with the overall trends, however, this is irrespective of whether they suit your personality or not (or your size). However, tailor-made apparels fit one just right.

The lie and time factor!

The general impression about tailors is that they always lie and never deliver the clothes on time. They are also charged with ignoring the women's chosen design and thrust their own version of fashion on their customers. "During Eid and the wedding season, most tailors book a lot of orders but pass them onto their apprentices or second rate tailors, who play havoc with costly fabrics. They stitch the kameez themselves, but pass on the shalwars to their apprentices," complains Rehana, a housewife. "This has happened with me. I had given five of my joras to my tailor of 15 years. And when I got them back I was ticked off because they were poorly stitched. An apprentice at that shop told me that the head tailor had the clothes stitched from another tailor due to an overload of work. I made great hue and cry but to no avail and now I have stopped going to his shop," she asserts.

"I had given my daughters clothes to a tailor in the Hyderi market (Karachi). I wanted it stitched much before the Chand Raat as it becomes very difficult to get to the tailor around that time due to rush and hustle bustle. But despite repeated pleas he delivered the same on Chand Raat. Tailors never keep their promises," whines Naureen, a working woman.

Master Sahib says...

"It is very difficult to satisfy women! It's not an easy job to meet their demands, most of the women come up with complaints like 'the hemline's gone wrong' or 'the neckline is too loose or plunging (or not so)'. Some women also become too noisy about slight differences in stitching. They want to copy a complicated magazine style and that too with alteration which is a difficult task. We try to meet their expectations but sometimes some clients can become a real nuisance. There have been times where women will bring in small pieces of cloth and expect us to churn out a design without using any cloth!" says Shahbaz, a tailor in the famous Qurtaba market at Bahadurabad.

The lad is content with his customers as he does not overload himself and takes as many orders as he can handle easily. However, due to the long spells of load-shedding, he has been unable to deliver the orders in time and as such has faced a lot of problems. "The irony is that I don't want to take orders which I cannot deliver in time, but my old clients do not understand this factor and they force me to stitch their orders irrespective of whatever the circumstances. When there is heavy load-shedding I cannot give the clothes back in time and then my customers are again displeased. The ongoing season is really tough because of the load-shedding."

Love-hate relationship

Mostly the relationship between the tailors and customers is a love-hate one. The tailors say that it is very difficult to satisfy a customer. They come up with strange demands like copying Katrina's neckline or magazines and photographs. They make a fuss over small errors and want exact replica of a shirt that fits a tiny model where as their built is completely different. On the other hand women allege that tailors follow their own ideas and never lend an ear to their demand. They never deliver the clothes in time and leave much to be desired.

Getting engaged and then married is an exciting part of life linking us to a new, beautiful beginning. For any girl, her engagement day is an occasion to shine. She wants to be confident, radiant, and beautiful. Your engagement is certainly the time to make a mark and stand out in the crowd.

Diamonds are forever:

The engagement ring is a symbol of a promise. Like the perfect engagement dress, engagement rings are a very personal expression. When buying an engagement ring make sure it is a good reflection of your love to her. This is a lifetime commitment and your love for your partner should show forever.

The traditional diamond engagement ring didn't come into play until about the 18th Century. Prior to that, other gem stones started coming into play to dress up the plain gold band.

Selecting an engagement ring with diamonds is an education in and of itself. One learns quickly about the 4Cs of selecting a diamond. Understanding the 4 Cs will help you make the best choice for your budget. The 4Cs consist of 'Cut', 'Clarity', 'Carat', and 'Colour'. The cut refers to the shape of the diamond. This can be round, oval, square, emerald, or marquis. The clarity of the diamond is measured by an alphabetical and numerical scale with the diamonds in the 'F' category being completely flawless. Carat is the weight of the diamond. Many eager young couples focus too much on size and finally the colour of a diamond is also measured alphabetically. D-I are the whitest, with D being the most white. Most traditional engagement rings focus on the brilliant white appearance.

D.I.Y makeup:

The makeup for this occasion should be light, even if you are going in for a bright coloured 'jora' or 'sari'. Use makeup that will enhance your natural beauty. Take a trip to the mall, and find an upscale department store with a designer makeup counter, and ask to sample some of the products. The golden rule of good makeup is to start with a clean face. Apply concealer to cover dark circles under the eyes. Now apply a pan stick base in a colour which is an exact match of the skin tone and set the makeup with a loose powder in the same shade. To add glow to your face, apply a translucent shimmer powder, apply this powder with a puff. For the eyes apply eye shadow that matches the colour of your outfit. Apply mascara to make your lashes look thicker. Next is to apply blush in the shade of pink or peach, this will give a soft tinge to your cheeks. Outline lips with a lip liner and then fill the lips with a lipstick.

Practice your look before your engagement day. Go for a natural look with soft pastel colours, go dramatic with smoky eyes and dark lipstick, or find a happy medium. Remember, the rule of thumb is that less is more.

'Hair' I go:

One of the biggest decisions for that day may be how to wear your hair so you feel like a princess. A hairstyle will look good only when the texture of your hair is perfect. So ensure that you condition your hair and keep it nourished. Start this hair care regime at least 2 to 3 months before the engagement day as you want your hair to look fresh and easy on your special day.

Now, comes the hairstyle, it should blend with your outfit. For example if you plan to wear a very traditional outfit, you cannot leave your hair free flowing. Similarly, if you intend to wear a modern outfit then you would need a semi-formal hairstyle like a butterfly bun or a French knot. Other semi casual hairstyles would be free flowing style with a bouffant, beehives and the retro style hair.

Moreover, more relaxed style is what is current. If you want to wear your hair down it should be in a soft tasselled casual style. The hottest trend this year is pulling your hair back in a knot or bun.

The picture perfect:

Most couples take advantage of packaged engagement sessions or seek out a skilled friend or favourite photographer to take some memorable engagement photographs. These are a great way to get some quality images to mark your engagement and also help you get used to being in front of a camera and possibly working with your wedding shooter. You can make your session candid and casual or more formal if you like. Your aim should be to enjoy the shoot as much as anything else!

Credits:

Compilation: Shaza Khalid

Model: Gia

Outfit: Nadia Mistri

Photography: Zia

Hair and Makeup:

Bed wetting is the most common pediatric-health issue. Bedwetting is when a child urinates during his sleep without knowing it, at an age when this would not usually happen. In most cases, bedwetting usually stops between the ages of five and six. Children over that age are said to have nocturnal enuresis if they are unable to maintain night-time bladder control for more than six months in a row.

The disease sometimes can last till the teen years and needs a careful approach. Doctors don't know for sure what causes bedwetting or why it stops but it is often a natural part of development, and kids usually grow out of it.

Bedwetting can be very stressful for mothers as the kids also feel embarrassed and guilty. Parents often feel helpless to stop it but if they provide emotional support and reassurance, it can surely help your child feel better until it stops.

How common is bedwetting?

Enuresis, the medical name for bedwetting, is a common problem in kids. About 13% of six-year-olds and about 5% of ten-year-olds wet their beds. Bedwetting often runs in families: kids who wet the bed often have a relative who did, too. If both parents wet the bed when they were young, it's very likely that their child will too.

What causes bedwetting?

Bedwetting is simply due to a delay in the maturation of the part of the nervous system that controls the bladder function. It sometimes may be due to either psychological problems or medical disorders such as a urinary tract infection, urinary tract abnormalities, or diabetes.

Bedwetting that develops after a child has been dry for a period of time may be caused by a medical condition, such as diabetes, or emotional stress. If a child's bedwetting is caused by a medical condition, treatment for the condition may be needed.

How to help your children avoid bedwetting?

- Although preventing a child from wetting the bed is not always possible, parents can take steps to help the child keep the bed dry at night.

- Do not punish a child who wets. This problem is not caused by laziness or rebelliousness. Shaming a child for wetting the bed can lead to poor self-esteem and feelings of low self-worth.

- When your child wakes with wet sheets, don't yell or spank him/her. Have your child help you change the sheets. Explain that this isn't a punishment, but it is a part of the process. It may even help your child feel better knowing that he or she helped out. Offer praise when your child has a dry night.

- Reassure, encourage, and express confidence in the child. You can also have your child take an active part in cleaning up from the bed wetting (e.g., help with changing the bed, putting the sheets in the laundry, etc.)

- Monitoring the child's consumption of liquids. As a rule of thumb, children should be encouraged to consume 40% of their total daily liquids in the morning, 40% in the afternoon, and 20% in the evening. Talk with your doctor about how much fluid your child needs.

- Withholding bedtime drinks may be helpful in some children because it decreases the volume of urine in the bladder, but this does not prevent the problem completely. Avoiding caffeine-containing drinks can also help decrease the amount of urine in the bladder (caffeine increases urine production).

- Make sure your child visits the toilet just before going to bed. Parents sometimes lift a sleeping child to the toilet before they themselves go to bed. However, this may encourage a child to wet the bed because their bladder does not feel full before they pass urine.

- Reassure your child that bedwetting is a normal part of growing up and that it's not going to last forever. It may comfort your child to hear about other family members who also struggled with it when they were young.

Hi Nadine,

I am a mother of two, and my second daughter is eight days old. I live in the U.S., but am planning to visit Pakistan for about 10 weeks to have some help with the children and to relax. Life in USA is tough, balancing career and family. I have not been to Pakistan for four years, and am longing to visit even if it is for a short while, into the life where servants cook for you, maids help you take care of children etc.

Well, here is my dilemma. I am a physician, but currently I am working only part time, with an enviably flexible schedule. I don't think I'll ever get this much time off again; therefore, I want to utilise this time by going to Pakistan. But I am breastfeeding my baby. I am very adamant about feeding her at least for six months. I am giving up a major chunk of my salary by going part time just for this. I have limited my social activity, shopping trips etc to a bare minimum, so I can be with the baby all the time. Even if I am out with her, I know I can find a place to breastfeed, and no one would look at me oddly, as long as I am modestly covered, and even if they do, I know the rights of breastfeeding mothers here.

I am not sure how I will manage in Pakistan. We have a big circle who will invite me over, mostly parents, friends and families. I will also want to do some shopping and meet my own college friends, enjoy the halal food in restaurants...so much to do. But I am worried about how to breastfeed my daughter. How do women do it there? I DO NOT want to introduce formula for my convenience's sake. I do not want to introduce the bottle, because it may turn her away from breastfeeding. I don't know how women do it in Pakistan. Do they limit their outside activities? Do they take their babies along wherever they go? Do they feed discreetly in public, weddings and parties? I guess if they are at the house of someone they are close to, they ask for a private room/space to feed? What about shopping centres? I cannot fathom how women claim that they breastfed their babies for a year, two years or six months etc... How do they manage? I am considering postponing my trip but like I said, I will not get this much time off in at least a long time to come.

Mom from USA

Dear Mom from USA,

It is very commendable that you don't want your daughter on formula, but after reading your detailed missive that has been edited for the sake of clarity and space, I couldn't help feeling that Pakistani women are indifferent mothers who probably don't understand the importance of breastfeeding and have their babies on formula. My dear, you are a physician who has not returned to Pakistan for four years, which implies that you probably had your education from here only. As a medical student and even as a casual observer, did you never notice that women here are very aware of the fact that formula milk is used only when necessary? I am not saying all women are conscientious; some may be the selfish women who refrain from breastfeeding their babies out of laziness, but usually women feed their babies themselves. When they visit people and the baby gets hungry, they simply ask their hostess to lead them to a secluded place. Shopping centres are a problem, but when women go shopping they feed their babies before venturing out. Women here attend weddings, do their groceries, visit family and friends and in between manage to feed their babies without any apparent fuss. You can, if you want, schedule your shopping spree after feeding your baby. It would curtail your shopping time, but in case you have relatives staying near the shopping centres, you can also use their homes. I am sure when our Pakistani moms can do it, so can you. You will find people very helpful and considerate and I am sure you will not encounter any problems in this regard. Good luck!

Dear Nadine,

I am a 20-year-old girl and have just started university this year. I have been in love with a 31-year-old man for three years. He is single. When I saw him for the first time I took his number and called him but did not disclose my identity. We started talking and he confessed that he was in love with me and he said that he wanted to marry me. We used to talk regularly on the phone and communicated through text messages but he never insisted onto meeting me. Suddenly, for some odd reason, I stopped talking to him and I told him to back off, and switched off my mobile! I do not know why I did that. Then after two months I could not hold myself back and called him again. When our relationship became normal again, I disclosed my identity and he said that I was too young and it would not look nice! He stopped talking to me. I cannot understand how love could finish in a day. Either he did not like me in person or he wanted to take revenge after what I had done to him. Then I tried avoiding him by not seeing him at common places but after a year when I got desperate I called him again. Initially he was very reluctant to talk. I used to call him and he rarely answered my calls. Slowly, he started calling me. He said he loved me and wanted to marry me and that he wanted to talk to my parents. I feel he is not serious because he does not keep in touch, calls once in two weeks and when he calls he talks about marriage. I do not understand and as this is the first time I am talking to a man and I feel I lack the power to build up the conversation. As I really like him I don't question him a lot. I do not want to lose him because I love him! I am stuck, please help me.

Badly in need of help

Dear Badly in need of help,

You must have been 17 when you, for the sake of a better term, fell in love with this single, 31-year-old, who proposed marriage without even meeting with you. It seems even he wasn't a mature person at 28 years of age. Getting married is not a joke! How could he have proposed to you without knowing anything about you? He was probably not serious, or as I said before, immature. What goes to his credit is that he tried to stop the affair when he found out your age. However, you revived it and now that he is talking marriage you seem upset. If he is not serious, he will try to string you along, and if he is you will have your proposal. Just let him send his proposal formally and leave the rest to your parents. Best of luck!

Problems that need a solution? You can e mail Prof. Nadine Khan at nadinekhan_34@yahoo.com

Note: If you feel you need someone to talk to when you are alone, to share a problem with, or just to get something that has upset or disturbed you off your chest, share it with us.

It was a delightful occasion for all the beauty conscious women as it was the official launch of an international beauty product. The event was recently held at Park Towers, Karachi, with a good number of celebrities and fashionistas in attendance.

Started some 100 years ago by young French chemist Eugene Schueller, the brand follows an iconic motto: 'Because You're Worth It!' For years the brand has incorporated and addressesed all areas of beauty such as skin care, hair care, hair colour and make-up. It is also known for its association with glamour and beauty, thus they have always chosen icons from the world of arts, fashion and beauty such as Penelope Cruz, Aishwarya Rai, Eva Longoria, Beyonce Knowles, Jane Fonda and Patrick Dempsey.

The glitzy event began with Adnan Malik as the host and went on with a few words by the brand manager Zainab Pasha and an interactive talk by skin specialist Peng Qureshi. Soon the spokespeople of the brand were introduced - Meesha Shafi, Sanam Saeed, Aunsheh Asad and Sabina Pasha. All these pretty women are celebrities in their own respective fields. Meesha is a model-cum musician whereas Anusheh is a beautician. We all are familiar with Sanam and Sabina who are known names in the world of modeling and acting. All the girls were wearing Nida Azwer's classy creations in gold and black and surely they all looked spectacular. The introduction of these sensational beauties as spokespeople complemented the brand's tradition of cultivating spokespeople from the world of arts, fashion and beauty.

This was followed by a style show by stylist Nabila, where two women were transformed live on stage using L'Oreal Paris products. The women appeared in shalwaar kameez but dramatic changes occurred when Nabila got her hands on them. The women changed from desi to divas in the blink of an eye.

The event was graced with the presence of many fashionistas. In attendance were Pierre Seillan and Francis Widmer from the French Consulate, designers Nida Azwer, Feeha Jamshed and Sadaf Malaterre, Asad Tareen of The Designers and Jewellery designer Kiran Aman. Famous VJs, television hosts, actresses and models like Mishi Khan, Anoushay Ashraf, Natasha Saleem, Anu Ahmed, Ayesha Toor, Ayesha Omar, Vaneeza Ahmed, Rubya Chaudhary, Tapu Javeri and Izdeyar Setna., adored by the youth, were also present at the occasion. Event manager Frieha Altaf was also present to witness the glamorous event.

On the occasion Park Towers was transformed into one big glamorous spot by the organisers. Where they were encouraging patrons and visitors to experience all areas of beauty with their brand, including; personalised skin care attention from leading dermatologists and skin specialists engaging the brands Dermo Expertise range; Autumn/Winter make-over's by celebrated stylists' using the eponymous brands cosmetics line and finding the perfect hair colour with the help of expert colour technicians.

So, the news is that Karachi Fashion Week has been cancelled... No way that's not true! Actually the thing is, due to the country's situation the Fashion Week has been postponed and now it is rescheduled for November. Yes! That's true... the dates have been shifted to 3rd of November and it will continue till the 6th of November. A few days back a Press Conference was held in this regard where all were informed about it. All our renowned designers Rizwan Beyg, Maheen Khan, Deepak Perwani, Nomi Ansari, and a few new designers were also present there. And our very own makeup artist Saba Ansari of Sabs Salon was also there and she will be responsible for the hair and makeup during the Fashion Week. But earlier we heard that Depilex was supposed to do the makeup and hair... we wonder what went wrong... Hmmm!! Well we all are waiting to see what Karachi Fashion Week has in store for us. Hope it's worth the wait. Make us proud guys like you did at Milan!

A combination of healthy yet tasty food is what everyone desires. You! has collaborated with the food maestro Lubna Shariff to serve the readers scrumptious, simple and healthy recipes cooked in the Mediterranean style..

Ingredients:

Yoghurt 1 kilo

Salt 1 tsp

Red chillies crushed 1 tsp

Olive oil 11/2 cup

Oregano 11/2 tsp

METHOD:

- Start by taking the thick yoghurt and adding in the salt

- Take a clean muslin cloth

- Put the yoghurt on the muslin

- Bring up the sides of the muslin and tie firmly with a string

- Hang the bag on a kitchen handle and leave for two days, till the water from the yoghurt stops dripping

- Now mix the chilli and herb in olive oil

- Take a spoonful of cheese and roll into balls with your hands

- Put them in olive oil one by one and there you have it...your dish is ready to be servedSome useful kitchen

- Keep boiled eggs in cold water for 5 minutes; this will make removal of the shell easier!

- If you don't have any cream to add in the soup or gravy, add a mixture of butter and milk!

- Always soak cut egg plants (aubergines) in water otherwise it will turn black!

- Never use stainless steel spoons for pickles; this will react with the acids in the pickle!

As our world ebbs away into the new generation, there are new ideas springing out of this hybrid conscious giving way to a new wave of artists. Many are now going beyond the traditional definition of art and giving it a new dimension, one which corresponds to their sense of reality and not the one which has been fed to them.

Mehreen Murtaza is a 23 year old that's moving the world of art on her fingers. A graduate of The Beaconhouse National University, she's already made great strides in the world of art. Her work was recently a part of the 4person Show, alongside Sajjad Ahmed, Amean J and Aroosa Rana. Her work at first glance mostly serves to confuse people. Only after you probe it can you grasp a deeper meaning, which is more a representation of your inner self than anything else. Talking about her work, Mehreen says, "My work is personal for me. I find that the virtual world offers a romantic longing for the absolute. Its electronic ether represents a brand new frontier of consciousness. As technological expansion comfortably ingests the time-honoured importance of religion, we find man carrying newer dreams: delicious reveries of godliness and immortality made real through technology. The atmosphere of subversion leaping out of my work is borne directly out of today's socio-religious context, wherein modern day computing and technology collide with religious myth, superstition, and ritual."

As an artist, Mehreen takes the typical and turns it into the mystical. Most of her prints are carved around religious and cultural symbols. Through the digital collages she seeks to bring out a kind of intricacy where religion and science live in one house. "Like the complexity that was achieved when speculative fiction writers of the 1950's and '60s fed mystical ideas of spirituality and religion into science. Similarly, I have made use of religious and cultural symbols that have ultimately taken up newer meanings as a result of excessive use in popular culture or mere exploitation as cultural icons. The worlds I create through varied digital collages are where man encompasses both Daedalus' ingenious and yet Icarus' foolish pride, where decisions are based on emotion rather than logic. Faith is in a constant state of change and a means of perpetuating disputes that give birth to secret societies and Gestapo-like espionage systems."

The girl started her own company at a very young age and has been quite successful up till now. Under the representation of Grey Noise, an organisation sought out to promote art in Pakistan by funding artists and running several galleries, her work has reached many corners of the world. "Luckily, I graduated at a time when the Pakistani art market was booming and everyone had their eyes on fresh new graduates. I had and have a lot of building support from India. Umer Butt who is the curator of the gallery Grey Noise has been fantastic for taking off my career. I've gotten a lot more exposure and am enjoying working with him," informs Mehreen.

At present according to the budding artist, women are not marginalised in the art world, not in Pakistan anyway. "It's true that you come across very few successful women sculptors. It is a market largely dominated by men but Pakistan has its fair share of contemporary women artists who are doing quite well," she informs.

Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. After some time, along came this little old man. The son said, "Dad! There is one." The father replied, "No, there is not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We will just wait." A little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he is plenty big enough." The father again replied, "No we'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait." About an hour later, comes this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her."

"No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either."

"Why not?" asked the son.

"Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother!"

This is not simply a joke but almost a complete depiction of men's behaviour towards women. Men may not agree with me but it's true that most of them possess such "carnivore" kind of thoughts about women. Although things have changed a lot in this hi-tech modern age and women have become much smarter than men, still there is no harm in giving them a piece of advice as to how to distinguish between good guys and bad guys. Following tips will make this selection much easier for women:

First of all, always keep in mind that all the men are weird unless proved otherwise. This is exactly in the same way as once NAB introduced a law saying "everybody is corrupt unless proved otherwise". So treat all the men keeping in mind this basic premise. Let them prove that they do not belong to that "cannibal" breed mentioned above. This may sound a bit harsh but this is the way how one should handle (with care) the opposite sex nowadays. Women who are weird themselves may ignore this tip.

If a man tries to portray himself (out of proportion) as a 'goody' kind of a person, beware of him. Such men usually have a dual personality. Modus operandi of these men is usually to win the confidence of the lady by making compliance to every order which they actually can't even think of obeying at their homes. For example, if they are out with their sister for her shopping, they will become restless hardly after an hour. On the other hand, if they are buying something for the "targeted" lady with her, they will keep their toothpaste advertisement type smile on their face till they drop her home. Apparently, there is nothing wrong in going out with such kind of men but the problem starts when these men begin unfolding the other part of their personality which is not that much pleasant. This usually happens after a certain critical point of time.

Another tip for distinguishing between good and bad is that good guys usually behave in a normal manner, e.g., neither they are extra polite nor harsh, they also don't give any preferential treatment to the lady in an office or workplace, hence, at times these good guys are actually of no use. Whereas irrespective of their "ulterior motives", bad guys can be very obliging at times provided their services are smartly utilised by women. It is said that there is no lack of talent in this country so similarly there is no dearth of smart ladies also in this fertile land who know the art of handling bad guys.

There can also be a situation, quite different from the above, where a man pretends to ignore the lady. This kind of man believes that he is a "lady killer" and since he's got an irresistible personality and a woman would eventually fall for him. To me, this sort also comes under the category of bad guys because he knows the strength and weaknesses of a woman and can easily exploit her as and when the situation demands. The best way to handle this lady killer is to ignore his 'indifferent' attitude, be patient and wait till the time he stops ignoring you. He won't resist too long; and once he is after you, keep him on track as you like. I call this phenomenon "a lady killer, killed by a lady."

The worst kind of bad guys are those who become possessive immediately after they receive the first phone call from the girl. "Where have you been? Why didn't you pick my phone earlier? Were you with somebody...who...your colleague? Why did you say hello to him in such a pleasant tone, is he your friend? Why don't you try wearing an abaya, it will suit you?" These are some of the examples of typical questions which these guys usually start asking at a very pre-mature stage of a relationship. There can only be one strategy for these guys - a shut up call straight away!

Once somebody asked Ibne Safi, the famous Urdu novelist, "Why is your hero, Ali Imran, always encountered with a woman in every story who accompanies him till the end?" To this, the great novelist replied, "Since the story can be told in a much better way with the presence of a beautiful lady in the plot, there is no point in adding an ugly looking male character therein." This is another tip for women. Situations where you can manage yourself, don't involve bad (or even good) guys. Avoiding good guys is also important because you won't be able to know when a good guy becomes a bad guy and vice versa although chances of latter are quite grim.