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instep
review instep
analysis The other
side of bias Hrishikesh Mukherjee's final exit (1922-2006) Instep P.O.
Box 420 In
the picture starbytes What is the
meaning? starbytes Vibes Tailor
made Mistry solved! Catching
up with Style
watch Please
join my Fashion Council
Once more, the Lux Style Awards were nostalgic about bygone
eras as all major highlights of
the show belonged to Lollywood By Aamna Haider Isani As an event, the fifth annual Lux Style Awards stood on
three strong pillars the glamorous Red Carpet, thrilling performances by
film stars and fashion segments that were juxtaposed alongside music
performances and were beautiful while being entertaining too. It was a show
well put together. If LSA serves to acknowledge excellence in the entertainment industry of Pakistan, then there was no point dedicating more than sixty percent of the show to the dying art of cinema. If it is a platform to unite and help uplift the fashion industry of Pakistan, then the absence of several important members of the fraternity left an uncomfortable vacuum. To have a style gallery displaying work by all eminent photographers of Pakistan except Ather Shahzad was sad, to put it very simply. Two of the main pulses keeping entertainment alive in Pakistan namely music and television were again reduced to DAT performances and a couple of lackluster nominations. In a nutshell, after years of nips, tucks and facelifts, the Lux Style Awards finally had a great body, but they sadly lacked much of a soul. Last year, the LSAs ended with a tribute to the golden years of Pakistani cinema and encouraged by the positive reactions that followed, this year's whole show stepped in the same direction. The bigger budget that came with co-sponsors was certainly put to good use as Reema, Moammar Rana, Shan and Saima stars who could not be afforded before danced to the delight of the audience and they all did a fabulous job. Reema's medley with Momi was incredibly foot tapping and Shan, performing for the first time on an LSA stage with the ever elusive Saima put forth an impressive grand finale. (Both segments had been choreographed by Pappu Samrat) 'Tere Ishq Nachaya' the filmi version of Abida Parveen's classic rendition of Bulley Shah ended the show on a high note. The showstopper, however, was Meera. Dressed in a bubbly
purple gharara and performing with Runa However, the show was not without its flaws. Having a good looking host for such a long event is never enough which is why comedians like Billy Crystal, Chris Rock and Whoopi Goldberg have repeatedly stood as popular hosts at the Oscars. It's very important to provide comic relief in a process that runs for so long and this year's LSAs lacked that severely. Shan proved to be a handsome but boring compere and his many recitations of poetry were totally lethargic. Last year, moments of laughter were provided by Begum Nawazish Ali and Sajiruddin and in 2003, Moin Akhter had the audience in stitches. The fashion industry may not have appreciated being made fun of but events like LSA can serve another purpose of lightening things up when people begin taking themselves too seriously. When losing or winning an award creates friction, it's humour that provides the essential buffer. Another thing to take into consideration was the poor
seating arrangement. Front rows must always be occupied primarily by nominees
which makes it easier for the camera to spot them when their names are being
announced and also for them to quickly walk on stage if they win. However front What exactly was the point of analyzing a live show on a TV screen? Perhaps Unilever should now invest in actually constructing a smaller version of the Kodak Theatre, designed for such ceremonies or else work on creating better levels of seating at the Expo Centre that so far seems to be the most permanent home the LSAs have found. The organizing committee should revise their method of inviting guests too. Invites generally go out to corporate employees, advertisers and bureaucratic and government officials and their families. This makes for an extremely dull audience. Once these people are done with seeing the stars, they lose interest in the event and leave before the show ends. The entire industry should be given importance and invited instead, not just nominees. One missed so many important members of the entertainment industry where were Atif Aslam, Abrar ul Haq, Strings, Annie, Zoheb Hasan, Humayun Saeed, Sadia Imam, Javed Sheikh, Samina Peerzada, Vinnie and ZQ amongst so many others? The evening seemed incomplete without them. This event should serve as a chain, adding celebrities each year instead of replacing them with others. LSA is the most awaited event of the year for the entertainment industry. It would become even more powerful if they took the industry alongwith them, instead of nominees, performers and presenters only. Frieha Altaf's creative direction, and she pulled a winner this time, was remarkable. The fact that Nabila and her creative team were roped in to stylize the performances and fashion segments as well as the looks given to presenters and celebrities took the image of the show to another level altogether. The fashion segments were incredibly elegant and between Frieha, Nabila and the designers who showed four magnificent collections Nilofer Shahid, Karma, HSY Menswear and Nomi Ansari it was a job well done.
instep
analysis The music segment at the Lux
Style Awards had some unpredictable yet well deserving wins while performances
were made 'fashionable' By Maheen Sabeeh It was Ali Azmat's night! The
most welcome win of the night was Ali Azmat's for Best Music Album for his
dynamic solo debut, Social Circus. The fact that this was a 50 per cent popular
vote only added to the surprise. It seems the LSAs have hit a formula
for being fair to musicians. Other winners However, even as they honoured the right talent, LSA 2006 failed to do for music what they do for fashion and film every year. They gave all the musicians stylish makeovers, but they still didn't let them play. So for the review, here's whose better at faking it than others. The good The queen of pop Hadiqa
Kiyani stole the musical performance hands down. In spiky short hair dyed half
red (courtesy Tariq Amin) and a colourful Ammar Belal ensemble, Hadiqa truly
looked like a rockstar. More importantly, she knew how to bring a DAT
performance to life. Since fashion was merged with the music segment, one saw
HSY's new men's wear line being showcased while Hadiqa Coming close to Hadiqa's performance was Punjabi Munda Ali Azmat. Unleashing all his energy with 'Na Re Na', Ali looked dashing in a black suit. Where Hadiqa acknowledged the models on stage, Ali did the exact opposite. He performed as if there was no one else around at all. This was Ali Azmat at his DAT best. He swung, did the twist and lip synched with all his might. Soon, one saw the stage lit up in red with Nomi Ansari's latest collection being showcased. The stage looked rich in flavour and with the rock icon taking centerstage, the only disappointment again was lack of live, raw energy that is Ali Azmat's true forte. The bad One also saw Fuzon and Ali
Zafar perform. But unfortunately, they were simply boring. Fuzon lip-synched to
'Neend Na Aaye' with Karma's collection being presented while Ali Zafar
performed a Here, it must be said that even though Fuzon were a nominee and one understood why they were asked to perform, their performance was by far, the dullest and most disappointing from the lot. 'Neend Na Aaye' is an old song. Fuzon has sung it over and over again for the past few months at every show they've done. Even as Shallum and Immu tried their best to look real with their instruments, it looked lifeless. Had the band chosen to sing 'Mitwa' (perhaps Shallum and Immu could've put their own rocking spin on it) the entire performance would've looked different. Moreover, as the bandleader, Shafqat looked uncomfortable. Another disappointing performance came from 'Channo' boy. Ordinarily, as a DAT performer, Ali Zafar knows how to swing but that night, even he couldn't do much to save grace. 'Kharayaan Day Naal' was an interesting tune with a folksy feel to it. But without live support, the song didn't do much. Throughout the entire song, Ali Z stuck to the centerstage with a guitar in one hand. He was totally inanimate, much to the dismay of many and this is where the performance fell short. Ali Zafar is known for his stage antics, his Kishore Kumar style singing, flirting with the ladies and dancing with the boys. He was simply not in his element. The ugly Featured in the playlist at
the fifth annual LSA was Stereo Nation. This performance was not only really,
really bad but also shocking. What was Taz doing singing a zillion year old
song? It is a cursory Music took a backseat at the Lux Style Awards. Behind every award show, the idea is appreciating talent, providing entertainment as well as a platform for artists both old and new. However, this was not the case. There was no Aaroh, Sajid and Zeeshan, Noori, Overload, Call to perform. No one new had been given a chance. Ali Azmat, Fuzon and Ali Zafar all have performed at the LSAs before. If the awards were being held in the first half of the year, these songs still would've made an impact. But all the songs were old. With the awards taking place in September, new performers and new songs were needed. Moreover, if all the Live Act nominees had performed LIVE, the outcome would've been brilliant! Instead, one saw same old acts repeating themselves with Hadiqa and Ali Zafar conveniently getting mileage for their new singles. Musically speaking, there is
a lot of cutting edge stuff happening in Pakistan and the LSAs show none of
that. They are not a platform for Noori, Sajid and Zeeshan, the Mekaal Hasan
Band, Overload or It cannot be said enough that live music has its own energy and that feel can never be imitated by any artist. LSAs have become a benchmark for all other awards shows. What they do, will be the yardstick other awards use. They can only make the 'right' statement if they promote live music and new performers. All objections overruled! The other side of bias Lahore was accused of "clan sweeping" the awards
last year. This year tables turned and Karachi ruled the roost. But were the
awards really fair? By Aamna Haider Isani There were moments of pleasure and relief when the awards
were being announced. Fayeza Ansari won the very well deserved award for Best
Emerging Talent and Abdullah, dressed handsomely in HSY menswear, looked
extremely well worthy of the Best Male Model award that he was given. The
Awards Office introduced two very exciting categories this year Best Pret
and Best Retail Brand and the award very justly went to Sonya Battla and Khaadi
respectively. These two labels can be credited Awards for Best Menswear (Amir Adnan), Best Designer 10 plus (Rizwan Beyg) and Best Hair and Make Up (Nabila) were too predictable to be exciting and the remaining award Best Photographer that went to Khawar Riaz was acceptable despite Shamyl Khuhro being the hot favourite. The fact that Iman Ali did not win the award for Best Model was the most shocking moment of the evening. Losing to first time nominee Tooba Siddiqui who is good but green pointed to nothing but partial judging. And this brings us to the brouhaha that has been following the judging controversy of last year's show. Umar Sayeed and Ather Zahoor (Ather Shahzad) were detected of negative or partial marking when they were on the jury this fact was never officially released by the Awards Office but was made public informally. To quietly ban these members of the fashion fraternity from jury may have made sense but the way Unilever has handled this entire saga does not. Ather and Shahzad have won four awards at the LSAs and Umar Sayeed two. They should not have been picked out of the ceremony without warning or discussion. Reportedly neither of them were contacted by Unilever during the entire year that they were banned from jury, rejected for nomination and then not invited to the show. This apartheid was totally uncalled for. The fashion industry is small enough as it is, if people are going to be convicted and blacklisted, then one wonders who'll be missing next year? Shouldn't this year's entire jury be penalized for partially voting against Iman? This was clearly a case of the more influential individuals pulling the strings than it was of fair play. The fashion industry has proved itself incapable of
absolute fairness. Instep witnessed how many senior members of the design
community gave Nomi Ansari a terribly cold shoulder at Saadia Mirza's show held
earlier this year. At the LSA ceremony on Saturday, it was also reported that
many models and celebrities were discouraged by the creative team to wear Nomi
Ansari's clothes to the red To rationalize their actions, the LSA Awards office may suggest that by inviting judges who had rigged last year's process they would be endorsing cheating. Well they invited and awarded Wasim Akram with Personality of the Decade Award. Acquitted, not cleared in a case of match fixing (the judge recommended that he not be allowed to captain the Pakistan cricket team) amongst many other allegations, does this mean LSA endorses sportsmen who cheat? In recognition of endorsing a deodorant over upholding national pride and integrity, the fact that the LSAs honoured Wasim Akram sent out all the wrong signals to begin with in a year that the awards set out so earnestly to be fair. Lahore did not play it fair last year and they must be accused of partial voting but unfortunately the same has been repeated this year. It's just another camp working in favour of their own favourites and two wrongs just don't make a right. The Lahore-Karachi divide was never more clear than it was at this year's Lux Style Awards and it wasn't exactly the most cheerful thing to witness. obituary Hrishikesh Mukherjee's final exit (1922-2006) "A director's films reflect his personality," once said Amitabh Bachchan. True to his words, Hrishikesh's films have drawn in audiences for their simplicity, accessibility and intelligence. By Aijaz Gul Indian offbeat film director Hrishikesh Mukherjee, also screenwriter and editor, passed away in a Mumbai hospital on August 27. "I will miss him," commented an emotional Amitabh Bachchan who was present as his residence. "His kind of cinema was unique. I shared a close relationship with him and he was a father figure to me." Hrishikesh
began his career with New Theater. He later met director Bimal Roy who took him
in as his Guddi with Jaya Bachchan in the lead gave us an insight
into the film industry. Chupke Chupke gave us laughter every minute. Abhimaan
showed us the reality of marriage, the jealousy that crippled a Hrishikesh's
forte was always a simple story filmed in a simple way - no gimmicks and no
technical gadgets. For this, he won the admiration, love and respect from his
middle-class filmgoers and two distinguished honours from the government: Padma
Vibhushan and Dada Saheb Phalkey Awards. He Hrishikesh made films which were convincing and appealing. Years back, I saw Aashirwad in which Ashok Kumar played an old man with a wild beard. His work was a combination of pathos and sarcasm with objectivity. And then times
changed. We suddenly entered the eighties and Mumbai had been taken over by
drills Indian Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh paid a tribute to him saying that Hrishikesh was a humane and socially conscious film maker. The leader of the Opposition LK Advani who has also been a film critic said "Every single film by Hrishikesh from Guddi and Anand and Bawarchi to Golmaal has been a memorable film." Jaya Bachchan said "I will miss him. His kind of cinema was unique." And Lata said "We never met frequently but he took me as a younger sister and he knew a lot about Indian music." The passing away of Hrishikesh Mukherjee is summed up in his film Anand by no other than Rajesh Khanna "Zindagi bari honi chahiye, lambi nahi." Hrishikesh Mukherjee's landmark films Year Film Cast 1959 Anari Raj Kapoor, Nutan 1960 Anuradha Balraj Sahni, Leela Naidu 1966 Anupama Dharmendra, Sharmila Tagore 1968 Aashirwad Ashok Kumar 1969 Satyakam Dharmendra, Sharmila Tagore 1970 Anand Rajesh Khanna, Amitabh Bachchan 1971 Guddi Jaya Bahaduri, Samit Bhanja 1973 Abhimaan Amitabh Bachchan, Jaya Bahaduri 1973 Namak Haram Rajesh Khanna, Amitabh Bachchan 1975 Chupke Chupke Dharmendra, Sharmila Tagore, Amitabh Bachchan, Jaya Bahaduri 1979 Golmaal Amol Palekar, Utpal Dutt, Bindiya Goswami 1980 Khubsoorat Rekha, Rakesh Roshan
Karan Johar's adulterous epic Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna is definitely getting strong reactions in the land of the pure This is in reference to Ms. Maheen Sabeeh's review of KANK
(Instep, August 27, 2006), according to her the movie that broke all
traditional norms. Which in my opinion is nothing to be proud of. Everyone has
their opinions and so does Ms. Sabeeh. However, I would like to suggest that
when you review a movie kindly dig into both the pros and the cons? While
reading her review I honestly thought she has somehow managed to see the master
print of the movie going by her positive attitude of the film but she was all
praise for a pirated version that I happened to see as well. I'll give it to
her for some of Getting to Rani's role in the movie of a woman who cannot conceive seems to have made this an excuse for not loving her husband! Does that even make sense? I think not! What issues will a woman have if her husband is head over heels in love with her, takes care of her and provides her with all that she needs despite her inability to bear a child? Should she not fall in love with him? Or should she snub him whenever she wishes to and be attracted to another man who is just as messed up as her? And what of career woman Preity, who neglects her family because and wears the pants in the house after SRK's accident? Yes, so go ahead and be ungrateful Mr. Dev that your wife is running the show because you are incapable of doing so. A question to ponder over: Since when has running away from relationships become good? Is it really? Consider me orthodox or whatever but I honestly believe the story sucks! It really does. I'm sure Karan has made the film beautifully but sadly the concept and the message the film sets out is certainly beyond me. My article might come out to be all cons! Which I believe
it is- but since there has been a lot of positive talk about the movie already
I thought only to be honest about it. --Aimen Rao First of all, in the review, it was stated that the print of the film is pirated. I did not see the film in a master print but the gist of the film was palpable in the uncut version. As far as the film itself is concerned, KANK broke traditional norms because it managed to get past the 'happily ever after' syndrome that most Indian films propogate. Infidelity exists all over the world, just circumstances cary. It wasn't two people having an affair for the heck of it. This film had circumstances that justified this action, no matter how repulsive it may have seemed to you. The characters in KANK aren't far from the reality we live in - people do fall out of love in real life. Men and women do have compatibility issues and intimacy issues too crop up in a marriage. It happens everywhere. And that is where adultery comes in. Had KANK not had those issues, it wouldn't have been the film that it is. Does it mean we are condoning infidelity? No. Films don't necessarily have to stick to tradition. Films are evolving all over the world and focusing on issues that human beings face. KANK had a bold statement to make and it did. Yes, it is not a typical KJ film but then again, films like Kal Ho Naa Ho or Kuch Kuch Hota Hai aren't about being bold and true to life, now are they? Moving on to acting, Shahrukh was fantastic in the film. Finally, he did something other than Rahul or Raj. The man is in his 40s. It would be a professional suicide if he did a KKHH or KHNH. Shahrukh lives his character. He is so cynical and bitter that one hates him. One hates his negativity and that's the beauty of it. Moreover, Abhishek does not overshadow SRK. His character is transparent and a simple one at that. Coming to Big B, his role was neither twisted nor kinky. In fact, it is the one element in the film that remains in the background and manages to bring a few chuckles every time. Men like Big B's character do exist in this world. They are flirtatious even at 60. It's a simple fact that was brought onto screen in a superb manner by Amitabh Bachchan who seems like a rather flirtatious 60 year old himself. As far as Rani goes, not being able to bear a child is the worst possible thing that could ever happen to a woman. Top that off with being married to a man that you share no common ground with and the marriage is over! There is a hidden context in the way SRK behaves in the film. It is not about being ungrateful that your wife is the breadwinner. A man does feel the heat if a woman is the bread earner in a family. No man likes the idea of his wife being the sole owner in a household. It is ego fed by our patriarchal tradition. Moreover, when a wife is too busy and involved in her career, it is only natural for a man to be attracted to another woman. That defines the triangle between SRK-Preity-Rani. KANK wasn't about running away from relationships and cheating on your spouses. The idea was to explore the problems in a marriage and how they often lead to infidelity. I'm sure that you agree that ultimately an important aspect of filmmaking is portraying characters and stories that focus on real life happenings. KANK has managed to do just that and for that the film should be applauded. Love is never enough, not in a relationship and certainly not in a marriage. KANK says it openly. There are a few glitches in the film and they have been mentioned in the review. To make films that always stick to tradition despite the new world changing drastically is not a good idea and more importantly, it is not good cinema. --Maheen Sabeeh, Instep.
In
the picture *ing: Paul Walker, Cameron Bright, Vera Farmiga, Chazz Palminteri and Alex Neuberger Directed by Wayne Kramer Tagline: Ready. Aim. Run. Every Bullet Leaves a Trail Unlike its name, Running Scared features less running and more chasing and that too in a red Mustang. Joey Gazelle, played by the gorgeous Paul Walker is the Italian mafia's gun disposer. Instead of dumping the guns into the river, Gazelle hides them in his basement for future insurance. The movie begins with a drug buy that lands several corrupt cops dead. The gory scene is a glimpse of what is to follow. Things go wrong when son Nicky and his friend/neighbor spy on Gazelle as he adds the used guns to his secret stash. Dinner time at the Gazelle's is halted by gunshots across
the street. Nicky's friend Oleg has had enough of his abusive John-Wayne
fanatic stepfather and he disappears after shooting him with the gun from the
basement. With bullets in a dead cop to match those fired by Oleg (Cameron
Bright), As if that was not enough, the officer investigating Anzor's case is a dirty cop who survived the sour drug buy in the beginning. Detective Rydell (Chazz Palminteri) decides to take advantage of the situation to settle his score. With the police looking for Oleg, Detective Rydell desperately looking for the gun for personal gain, the Russian mafia out for revenge and his own boss is breathing down his neck, Gazelle is doomed. To save his skin, our hero drags his ten-year-old son (Alex Neuberger) across town to find Oleg who seems to run into one tricky situation after another. And the ensuing mad dash which is actually the movie hasn't even begun! What starts as a seemingly profound plot depicting the impression of violence on the young minds turns into a pointless hunt for the little boy and an elusive gun. The gun continuously changes hands and introduces the audiences to a variety of characters - Russian mobsters, Italian mobsters, mafia hit men, crooked cops, thieving addicts, drunk migrants, hookers, pimps and even pedophiles. The ridiculous caricatures contribute nothing to the plot beyond their stereotypical portrayal and leave one only counting the double-digit cast. The infinite number of twists and turns leave one baffled and the endless coincidences leave one annoyed. Too much happens too quickly and too superficially in the course of this two hour too long movie Being an action thriller, Running Scared is packed with several graphically gruesome action scenes and an equal number of bloodbaths (literally) that would drive off the not-so-action-crazy audiences. Those who last till the end will be haunted by the echo of the deafening gunshots for quite some time after. Gazelle's concerned wife, Teresa (Vera Farmiga) lends her great acting skills to the movie besides featuring in a much too explicit sex scene. The chemistry between the husband and wife is one of the better things in the movie. Paul Walker himself takes on the grungy look quite well and surprises on a few occasions. However, his performance lacks consistency giving him an overall average rating. The two children despite having difficult roles give a fantastic performance. Cameron Bright is brilliant as disturbed and silent Oleg whereas Alex Neuberger as Nicky scores several humorous points in the movie. Overall, the movie is an extremely fast-paced thriller which uses the flashback narrative every now and then to keep the audiences gripped. The movie is well shot using several different camera angles. Director Kramer gets full credit for his ingenuity since the technique works to take the mind of the audiences off of the very many half-baked subplots and twists. The ease with which Gazelle switches the bullets at the hospital disguised as a doctor just about insults the intelligence of everyone watching. The movie is also written by Mr. Kramer and it is obviously not his cup of tea. Drawing on a limited four letter vocabulary to the point of overdose, obscenely sleazy sexual content and an unlimited orgy of violence, Running Scared is appropriately rated R and misses the must-watch list for the same reasons. *YUCK **WHATEVER ***GOOD ****SUPER *****AWESOME
Shakira loves Shahrukh Khan Shahrukh isn't just a celeb
for the masses. Even the international music community considers him 'oh Urmila all for AIDS awareness Joining her peers, Urmila
Matondkar is all set to create AIDS awareness. Oprah furious with Angelina Jolie After the golden couple
(Brad and Jen) split and 'Angelina' came into being, Jennifer Aniston made a
quick comeback on tv by appearing on the Oprah Winfrey Show. After her
appearance it was believed What
is the meaning? The exhibitionist lubrication of a process of production and supply aimed at generating an economy propelled by the superficial concept of "choice" which in turn is woven with the glorification of status-conscious demands for the supposedly necessary of the actually unnecessary! Synonym: Chacha Chaar Soh Bees America The place that everybody loves to hate, hates to leave and lusts to reach! Army Caucasian jocks with real Weapons Of Mass Destruction looking to destroy imaginary Weapons Of Mass Destruction supposedly owned by fat Arab jockeys. Synonym: Rambo Rump Steaks. Al-Qaeda The name of an all-male club propagating facial hair on women! Synonym: MMDs (Men of Mass Destruction). Bimbo Bimbos are to women what beef is to broccoli. Bozo Male equivalents of Bimbos. Bharat The burping sound made by right-wing Hindu patients of chronic indigestion. Example: "So, my dear friends, as I was saying *BHARAT! * ahem, excuse me." Baghdad Playground for American marines wanting to experience the nostalgia of the Vietnam debacle. Also called Body Bag Park. Bush A polite and politically correct way of saying "you red-neck imperialist swine!" Example: "Oh, Tom, you're such a Bush!" Baywatch An American TV show in which busty bimbos and meaty men run around half-naked doing the most important thing in their lives: Getting a tan. Bollywood A social club advocating choreographed group dancing as a cure for poverty, crime, illiteracy, child labor, unemployment, exploitation, etc. Example: "I love you" "I love you too" (Dance!); "Yeh shadee nahi ho sakti!! (Dance!); "My son committed suicide." "Oh my God, that's terrible." (Dance!); "You like my new hair cut?" "Yes I do." (Dance!); "Look at this poor child. He seems to be dying of hunger." "Tich, tich! " (Dance!); "Why is everybody dancing?" "I have absolutely no idea." "Why are YOU dancing?" "Because everybody else is." "Hmmmmm I see." (Dance!). Dance Don't. Please. Dude A not very intelligent young man who keeps saying, "dude" as if choking on his own breath. Contraception Birth control tools most likely to be used only as birthday balloons by religious fundamentalists. Cola Flavored carbonated water made to generate full profits and empty burps. Cola-nization The socio-economic process of hooked-nosed capitalists drowning organic civilizations in useless fizz. Consumerism Religion created and run by wolves in sheep's clothing for sheep in human disguise. Christmas A religious holiday celebrated as if instead of Christianity, Christ founded consumerism and as if instead of curing the lepers and the blind he made converts by holding shoe sales! Democracy Close minds mobbing open forums. Dialogue Diplomatic monologue. Dollar A dog spelled backwards. Dubai Holiday resort and amusement park for Asian mafia bosses and fat Arab jockeys. English A language so many speak but only a few know. Egalitarianism Hearty charity projects initiated to enter cynical political races. Evil (According to the USA), any Asian country with the capability to produce nuclear weapons with the exception of Israel. E! 24-hr-cable-network trying to prove that trivial high society bullsh**t, alcoholism, adultery, gossip, general decadence and a sizeable lack of intellect are the main prerequisites to make it big in the show-biz. Not entirely wrong, though. Fashion show Skinny women exhibiting strange looking clothes in front of men and women with fat bank accounts. Fashion magazine Glossy rags promoting anorexia nervosa as a fashion statement. Formula One A race in which small red cars go round and round in circles sounding like a thousand mosquitoes being molested by sleazy Shell executives! Fundamentalism Religious folks having fun Fast Food Food made to generate fast heart burns and faster burps. Globalization's qaumi khana. Feudal Lord Pir Pagaro insisting his jeep is called Pir Pajero and torturing anyone who disagrees. Farhat Hashmi Branded designer hijabs for rich aunties. Global warming What dudes think is the name given to happy hours at Starbucks. General Motors The 5-miles of shining jeeps, bikes and cars which accompany General Musharraf's motorcade. Genocide Bad breathe fascists murdering hooked nosed Jews killing horseless Arab jockeys. (The) Hite Report Scientific pornography. Hell Having to listen to Najam Shiraz talk about heaven! Heaven My cable operator not offering Star Plus. Just imagine NO Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi! Yippee!! Hormones Moaning noises made by horses ridden by fat Arab jockeys. Health Food Slow food for carrot-top yuppies. Good for the brain, but only if they had one. History Which keeps repeating itself and what people keep forgetting. Also a TV channel unknown to dudes and of no interest to mom. "Mera Star Plus kahan hai??!!" Hysteria Obscene female rantings caused by lecherous Freudian jinns. Haram Anything not liked by your local mosque's Pesh Imam. Can be anything. Your hair, mom's liking for Star Plus, a pair of jeans or scenes of grasshoppers mating on the National Geographic Channel. All "haram!" Homosexual Degenerate homo sapien Homophobic Myopic Homo erectus Infidel Grasshoppers mating in public on the National Geographic Channel. Insanity Extreme sanity. Islam Pakistan's official religion imposed over and over and over again. Also: Pushtun name for bachelor's party for would-be polygamists. Jock Bozo-meets-Dude to have a Bimbo. Japan Land of fish-eating robots. Justice (See Jargon). Jargon (See Justice). Jaded See me! Judaism Genocide with a 'J.' Jesus An underweight Santa Clause. Kama Sutra Sexual guide written by ancient Hindu gymnasts. Kafir Anyone questioning the existence of mullahs. Klu Klux Klan Freckled fascist dyslexics trying to spell "Cool Coke can." Kabul Capital of Moenjodaro. King Kong Sudden, massive male arousal Example: "Man, as soon as I saw her I King Konged!" Karl Marx The anti-Santa-Claus Santa Clause Lust That which generates King Kong. Love King Kong mistaken as Marry Poppins. Lollywood Breeding ground for King Kong cows Mullah Hairy King Konging men who hate Marry Poppins. Mind Something hardly used while making matter. Meat (See Lollywood) Nuclear Weapons Measuring devices to measure "progress" and "patriotic pride." Nudity A way to communicate with orangutans by using the fashion language of the ape family. (See also Bollywood; Hollywood). Oprah Name of an Afro-American soap brand. Sultan A polite way of saying "you autocratic Arab tyrant!" Also name of a late Punjabi film actor who used to King Kong a lot. Terminator A remorseless, heartless and murderous cyborg recently elected as Governor of California. Taliban Hairy jocks who were taught to repress their King Kongs in Peshawar madressahs and instead make out with AK-47s instead of Mary Poppins. Tabloid Proof that aliens have landed! Television (See Media). Or better, DON'T see at all! UFO Proof that tabloids are true. Utopia Dyslexic African tyrants trying to spell 'Ethiopia.' Versace Designer Vaseline used by Hollywood homosexuals. Want Greed glorified and rationalized by capitalists Women's Lib The act of burning bras as a way to repulse King Kong orangutans. Yoga A way to digest vegetables and organic food. Yuppie A polite way of saying "you pretentious, corny, greedy corporate punk!" Also: Proof that MBA stands for the Mindlessness Of Business Administration. Zionist Name of designer jeans specially made for FOX News employees. Musical Notes Biggies in 2007 It seems that this year is
not destined for big music releases. Even though, albums like One Light Year
at Snail Speed from Peshawari duo Sajid and Zeeshan and Sawal from Rushk are
exceptional, they are not commercial in any sense. After all, one is in
English and the other despite being an Urdu album does not have any elements
of bhangra/pop thrown in. But one will have to with them alone since There is no word on a new
album from Jal or Atif. Fuzon's second album that was slated for a release
this year is also going through some difficulty. Fuzon guys are currently
looking at some record deals but so far, nothing is finalised. "Until we
don't have a record deal, I can't even give out a tentative date for album
release," said Shafqat of Fuzon. Strings will go into studios later this
year so no hope there. 2007 will also mark the release of Mekaal Hasan Band's
second album, Andholan. But until the album is out, MHB has other plans. All
songs from the album will have a video and after every 3 months, one new
video will hit airwaves. MHB also plan to release a live concert set to round
off. The concert is the one they did in Karachi in October 2005. Speaking to
Instep, Mekaal Hasan said, "I think it's be a good representation of us
playing the record out live. People who haven't heard us live will have
access to the MHB live set." Channo boy Ali Zafar's new album has also
shifted release to January 2007. Looks like, Aaroh will be the last big name
to come out with an album this year. Raag Neela is the name coined for the
album and the video for it is also in the making. This album is slated for
pre-Eid release. Watch this space to find out more on album details and
release delays! Vande Mataram opposed! 'Vande Mataram',
the Indian national song that is considered a second national anthem in India
is facing severe opposition from Muslim groups these days. Hindu nationalist
Bharatiya Janata Party Glorious new artists This year, newcomers
dominantly won the MTV Video Music Awards. Madonna, Red Hot Chilli Peppers
and Shakira - all had come out with new albums this year and despite
remaining on top for months, Kev Federline in CSI No investigator is needed
to ascertain that Kevin Federline is broke one again, despite earning an Vibes CHARTS "I want people to remember me as a full on entertainer and a good person." --Aaliyah Pakistani 1. Sawal - Rushk 2. One Light Year at Snail Speed - Sajid and Zeeshan 3. Social Circus - Ali Azmat 4. Overload - Overload 5. Jalpari - Atif Aslam Hindustani 1. Fanaa 2. Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna 3. Bas Ek Pal 4. Gangster 5. The Killer Vilayti 1. Stadium
Arcadium - Red Hot Chilli Peppers 2. X & Y - Coldplay 3. Loose - Nelly Furtado 4. PCD - Pussy Cat Dolls 5. Back To Bedlam - James Blunt
By Aamna Haider Isani Every big fish eats the
little fish. That's the way the proverb goes unless of course, you take into
consideration the larger sharks and whales who actually carry the little
sucker fish on their backs in a symbiotic relationship. The fashion industry,
though no ocean, follows the same principles of nature. Nadya Mistry's version is out in the open. She has repeated herself in the press, alleging Amir Adnan of "stealing her worker." "My tailor was offered a job as a designer, stolen from me, after I had spent so much time training him," she commented. The issue seems trivial, but it actually reflects the sad state of affairs which indicates that most of the design community is extremely self-centred. Caught in between the fire of Nadya and the fashion council, it was Riaz who suffered most, finding himself unemployed and shell-shocked at the end of it. Instep caught up with Riaz Usman for his version of the story... Instep: Describe your job at Nadya Mistry's workshop. Riaz Usman: I did pattern making, cutting, draping and a bit of sewing sometimes too. Instep: So why does she call you her tailor? RU: I don't know. I've earned several diplomas at the AIFD and Sir Asim (Amjad) will confirm that I have been an A-grade student. I couldn't graduate because of my financial position but I worked very hard on the diplomas. I don't know why she insists on calling me a darzi. I designed clothes for her. Nadya really doesn't know much about designing. Instep: Where there any other designers with you? RU: No. She works alone and her mother helps her a lot. Instep: After working with her for two years (2004-2006), what motivated you to leave? RU: Things were getting
difficult as Nadya's mother's involvement increased. She kept nagging me to Instep: Did Amir Adnan "steal" you from Nadya, as she alleges? How did you end up working for him? RU: When I was unhappy at Nadya's I contacted Asim Amjad, my instructor at AIFD, and asked for his help. He introduced me to Amir Adnan who hired me at a better package. Things were very professional there. Not only was I getting better salary but I was also working a set 9 to 6 routine. No extra hours expected, which made my parents very happy. Instep: Did you inform Nadya before working there? RU: No, I just left and kept this from her because seeing the way the industry works, I did not want to cause a fuss of any sort. However she found out and sent an SMS to the council members, requesting a ban against me and suggesting that no one give me work. Even then Amir Adnan did not fire me. Sir Asim called Maheen, who ensured that I would not be affected by these politics. She convinced Amir Adnan to retain me. It was only when Nadya's interview was published in a newspaper and she openly criticized him that he asked me to leave. Instep: Did he fire you? RU: He told me to go back, hand in my resignation, help her with the India show (Bride and Groom) she was preparing for and then return with clearance. Instep: So Nadya gave you the letter of recommendation... RU: No. I helped her with her collection but when I asked for the letter, she asked me to either work with her for six months, or get lost. I left without it. I have been unemployed since. Sir Asim convinced Amir Adnan to hire me back, and consequently I am working with him, but my terms are not clear and it seems my professional career is in limbo. Instep: Have you tried applying anywhere else? RU: It's not easy to get a job these days. Opportunities are extremely limited. Instep: Have you tried approaching Fashion Pakistan? RU: I am not aware that they can help students or beginners like me.
Saadia Mirza Saadia Mirza is the bright
young spark from Lahore who metamorphosed from a promising designer to one of
the most spectacular with her last show in Karachi. A first time nominee at
the Lux Style Awards this year, Saadia has branched off into as many
conceivable fields that a designer can. Be it couture, formal or semi formal,
or shoes and bags, Saadia Mirza has become a brand name Instep: What did you think about the LSAs? Saadia Mirza: I wasn't there but I heard they were good. Instep: Why didn't you come? SM: I wasn't well, then later I did try to come but the flight got delayed because of the rain. Instep: Who did you dress? SM: Musharraf Hai, Aleena, Neha and Benazir (Humayoun Khan's wife). Instep: Tell us about the collection. SM: It's the Vision line and is western wear. We've used a lot of rouging. The materials are chiffon, silk and georgette. It is mostly drapery teamed up with a lot of bustiers. Instep: What's the inspiration behind it? SM: This collection is inspired by the Victorian era styled in a modern way. Basically to go for a modern vintage look. Instep: How do you feel about IMG coming to Pakistan and the Fashion Week happening this year? SM: I feel it will be great exposure for Pakistan, but that said I feel the industry is not ready for them yet. It's a great opportunity but except for a few designers, most of us are not ready to show at the Fashion Week. Instep: Have you started working for it? SM: Yes, I have and I am already selling through Harvey Nichols so I am not too worried. Instep: Have you joined a council yet? SM: No, I haven't but I plan to join Fashion Pakistan. Instep: When is your next collection due? SM: It is already out. We're going to update it on our website (www.saadiamirza.com) soon. It is inspired from the British Raj, the Moghul and European influences of the era. Instep: Do you plan to open a shop? SM: Yes, in Karachi, hopefully in December and then in Dubai mid next year. Instep: Any upcoming shows? SM: Yes, in October in Lahore. It will be at the Quaid-e-Azam Library, old Gymkhana and I will be showing the Raj collection there. - Saadia Mirza was talking to Rahma Muhammad -See
Saadia Mirza's new collection on style section -
Photos by Faisal Farooqui
Mehdi to show in Karachi After his debut in Lahore
two years ago, designer Mehdi will now be stepping out of the Lahore market
to show in Islamabad and Karachi for the first time. This trilogy of fashion
shows will be featuring his 9th September: Lahore 12th September: Karachi 13th September: Islamabad
Please
join my Fashion Council Fasi Zaka Ever since Amir Adnan stole Nadya Mistry's darzi the fashion world has been in turmoil. All the other designers decided to get together in a jirga to solve the problem but got distracted and made an evil conglomerate instead called the Council. They were patterned on the Freemasons, except they couldn't keep their disagreements private within the walls of the sweatshops they ran to produce haute couture. Once the spats became
public they broke into two small "mini-me" councils of fashion
evils. Both "mini-me" evil councils set out strict conditions for
individual membership. Every prospective member The first council was the Pakistan Fashion Design Council. After it was dismembered with a septic scissor, the newly freed small member became Fashion Pakistan. I personally feel both "mini-me" councils can learn a lot from governance systems of the Malir Association of Electricians who have done a much better job over the past few years without breaking away in unhealthy acrimony. The Pakistan Fashion Design Council is actually a national council with members only from Lahore. By the same token the Fashion Pakistan council is also a national council, except whose members are only from Karachi. The only way to decide which fashion council is better is by measuring who is more evil. The Fashion Pakistan council has suggested it will be replacing the use of cow hide leather with skin from cute puppies. But the Pakistan Fashion Design Council wins outright on the evil front because the source of all evil (the lawyers hired originally to make the council) have stuck with them. It's got to the point where people fear the two clans may use biological warfare against each other. Because the Fashion Pakistan members are older designers they have suggested they may release their excess bodily gasses on the Pakistan Fashion Design Council members. Though most of the Pakistan Fashion Design Council members are quite constipated they may actually survive the flatulence of Fashion Pakistan because they are used to fishy smells (like the stench of defaulting on government loans). Someone needs to step in and solve this before fratricide occurs. I humbly suggest that be me. I am proposing creating the Frontier Association of Kleptomaniac Egocentric Style Fashionistas Living off Pakistan (Fakes-Flop). I will be its absolute leader and the whole business of democracy will be dealt away with (we know from the Lux Style Awards that these style people have difficulty with the concept of voting). It will also be slightly more open from the rest of the councils because membership will also be open to include all the darzis, stitchers and cutters who work long hours in crummy rooms so people can wed in style and the designers can manage to live in style. We may even consider giving these karigars ventilated rooms and adequate bathroom facilities if they need to breathe and relieve themselves during their 12 hour working days, yes I know -- they are so spoilt. Why can't they just suck up air before they come in to stitch, cut and embroider and hold their bowel movements while they are at work? I mean, if we gave them these things it would affect our 700 per cent profit margins, and that would send us to the doghouse. So
join my fashion council. Fakes-Flop will take the industry places. |
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