New Moon is more like a sequel to Fatal Attraction. Forget Michael Douglas and Glenn Close, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart take this teenage love story to reckless new heights that include cliff diving, over speeding and hanging out with dangerous wild beasts amongst other ways to hook the teenage generation on how to commit suicide. As if most of them self destructive kids didn't know enough already! Unfortunately none of it happens in the film with a (convincing) rush of adrenalin. The painfully slow pace of New Moon, the extremely shallow depth of its storyline and the continuously moping/whining leading actors make the movie an anesthetic rather than a stimulant. Whatever happened to the hottest cold blooded vampire that took fans by storm in the first film? This film drains Edward Cullen of all appeal. Especially when you compare his pasty white chest with Taylor Lautner's over tanned mega muscles. Not that wolf man is any better. His bare chest (why the rainy hill top town of Forks becomes Miami beach is a valid question) constantly reminds one of Salman Khan on steroids.
 Before I continue taking this film apart, let me confess that I have not read Stephenie Meyer's Twilight books. I made several attempts but gave up each time, finding them awfully boring. But I did watch Twilight the film several times and even enjoyed it, more perhaps for the 'cult' it created around Rob Pattinson all over the world. He is the reason why many Twilight followers queued up for the second part. The way Pattinson had risen to become the hottest, sexiest man alive was the film's USP for success and as Pattinson slowly loses that attraction in the sequel, it leaves one with nothing but a weak plot and several inconclusive parallel stories. Hardly the recipe for a hit film.
New Moon brings nothing new to the table. It begins where Twilight ended; Bella having incurred a life threatening Vampire attack to be with love of her life Edward Cullen. That he is 109 years old to her 17 is hardly detraction enough. But Bella dreams of herself growing old by the side of an ever-young Edward. Her birthday brings on the paper cut, vampire attack incident and Edward decides their relationship is too dangerous to pursue any further. He breaks off and if you thought Bella needed Prozac in Twilight, you'll probably pack her off to the asylum in New Moon. That said, this is essentially her film and she easily over shadows Pattinson and Lautner, who put on 30 pounds to fit into Jacob Black's skin.
Bella suffers Edward's loss until she realizes that she can 'feel' him in life threatening moments of danger, which she then finds an appetite for. One such incident - a deep sea jump off a high cliff - leads Edward into believing she's actually dead and he gets suicidal too. He travels to Italy and requests the Volturi - a powerful vampire coven capable of killing him - to put him to rest. While all this is happening, Victoria (from the last film) makes a comeback to kill Bella and Jacob lets on that he is a werewolf. Unfortunately Victoria disappears just as easily as she makes an appearance and Jacob discovers that the hot blooded beast within him isn't Bella's cup of tea. Or blood. Whatever. As he says, he just isn't "her kind of monster". And once you see the usually melancholic Bella Swan running around the Forks forest with Edward Cullen (reminiscent of Juhi Chawla and Aamir Khan in Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak), you'll realize the New Moon isn't quite your cup of tea either. It leaves too many questions unanswered and by the end of it you really don't care to know.
New Moon's saving grace: the soundtrack. Buy the CD and keep Edward Cullen alive on your iPOD.
–Aamna Haider Isani
*YUCK
**WHATEVER
***GOOD
****SUPER
*****AWESOME |
