These days, a term is trending that you've probably heard too: "performative male" or performative man."
But what exactly is this? Who is involved, where did this trend come from and what does it mean?
What is performative male?
The phrase refers to straight, cisgender boys who deliberately adopt behaviours, interests or styles often linked to women or the online "soft boy" trend.
This includes things like dresseing in an effortlessly stylish outfit, carrying a tote bag adorned with a Labubu, drinking iced matcha latte, wearing quirky accessories, using wired headphones or carrying feminist books just to appear sensitive and emotionally aware.
The term is usually used humorously to tease boys who change their style entirely to attract women or who lack clear personal identity outside of online platform.
Recently some cities have held contest where men playfully dress up and act as "performative males" for fun.
It is also pertinent to note that if a boy truly like these interests or behaviour, it is not seen as performative.
The term is used only when a teen adopts these traits intentionally to attract romantic attention, rather than out of genuine preferences.
Although men like this have always existed, they are now being widely mocked online through memes.
Where did this trend come from?
The term "performative man" is connected to the broader idea suggested by philosopher Judith Butler in 1988.
In an essay, Butler explained that gender isn't innate but created through repeated actions and behaviours such as how we dress, speak and act.
The origin of the social media trend, however, is much more recent.
Some people believe that this trend has emerged in the Gen Z era as a reaction to toxic masculinity with men moving away from the traditional "alpha bro" image toward a softer, stylish, cool and emotionally aware persona.
The trend resonates because many young people are dating less than previous generations.
The "performative male" style is also can be a way for some young men to show they are safe and different, especially as younger women are increasingly becoming more progressive and liberal while many men still hold traditional, patriarchal views.
These kind of boys try to attract women in predictable, game-like ways on dating apps.
But what's the problem here and why are such men often mocked?
Young men are now criticized for acting differently from traditional masculine stereotypes.
While, there is nothing wrong with a man genuinely enjoying things like matcha lattes, cute or trending stuff, but it becomes an issue when it's done insincerely and if a man adopts these interests just to appear a "good guy" or to attract women, it feels fake.
How to identify performative man beyond his looks?
If you see a guy who's cool and follows trends, as we mentioned earlier, it doesn't necessarily mean he's a performative man, so don't assume and distance yourself.
Yes, it's true that man like this might scream like green flag but he isn't always one!
So, beyond looks, how can you identify who is genuinely sincere and who is performative?
Firstly, you should see if a person's actions truly match their words, especially when no one is watching.
Observe how they respond to boundaries, minor problems or setbacks to see if their behaviour is sincere.
Performative males often focus on attention grabbing actions in public or on dates but may neglect everyday acts of care.
Lastly, if their empathy fades when no one's watching, it's a sign their behaviour isn't genuine.
These are some ways you can easily distinguish between red flags and green flags.
