INSTEP Magzine

Tagline: If you want to be an archaeologist, get out of the library!
Indiana Jones is a deliciously well buttered popcorn entertainer. It has been made for the big screen and since it is up on the big screen in Pakistan, there is absolutely no reason why anyone would want to give it a miss.

But before the endless raving begins, let’s get the film’s (few) drawbacks out of the way.
First of all, despite the crack-whipping action it promises, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a lazy film. There’s action alright but none of which one hasn’t been seen before. In a way the film, fourth in the hugely successful Indiana Jones franchise, pays homage to the previous three without really adding any value of its own. It works as another one of Hollywood’s big budget museum films that combine a star cast with enough computer generated graphics to appeal to any age group of fans.

Think Jurassic Park, think The Mummy, think King Kong or even Pirates of the Caribbean and you’ll have a fair idea of what Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is all about. It borrows from each and every one of them, without a trace of sophistication. The crystal skull itself looks like a cheap acrylic glass sculptor filled with crushed tin foil. Coming up with a slightly more refined artifact wouldn’t have hurt! The cobwebs are as fake as the aliens that make a special guest appearance at the end. And yes, most of the film seems to have been shot in a studio.

Having said that, it is exactly that old world charm that makes it so endearing; that clunkiness is exactly what the director was aiming for. To have made a slick, digitalized and futuristic version would have been far too predictable.

So despite the drawbacks – an unoriginal storyline being another one – the film is entertainment at its best. Not only does it evoke childhood memories of the eighties when Indy films used to play in cinemas in Lahore and Karachi, but it leaves one nostalgic of what cinema used to be back then. The theme music of Indiana Jones plays and it hits you straight in the heart. The film is a combination of man-to-man action, humour, honour and history. There isn’t an advanced weapon in sight but there are enough Amazonian Jungles, deadly waterfalls, fire man-eating ants and cannibalistic pygmies to keep one riveted during its duration.

Dr Henry Jones returns to screens after nineteen years and makes no bones (no pun intended) about the fact that he has grown old. And yet he is drawn into the challenge of outracing the Russians to the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull where he must return the ‘Crystal Skull’. Returning the skull will complete the circle of knowledge, bringing unthinkable treasures and divine knowledge to those who seek it. The Soviets, of course, are desperate to get their hands on that knowledge too, which apparently was brought to earth by alien powers hundreds of thousands of years ago. And so Dr Jones’ or Indy’s adventures begin.
There’s nothing new in the film and yet one hangs onto every cheesy one liner that Harrison Ford delivers with his enigmatic lopsided smile. The best thing that George Lucas and Steven Spielberg could have done was get Ford back for this flick. No other actor would have worked and the film would have flopped miserably. His age proves no barrier at all. “We were younger back then,” he says to his friend Mac. “We were younger and we had guns” and yet he manages to ‘whip’ right back into action. “You’re a teacher?” a stunned out of speech Mutt (Shia LeBeouf) asks, as Indy knocks out one grave-ghoul after the other.

The other great performer of the film is Cate Blanchett who plays the role of Soviet Agent Irina Spalko, who lusts after the eternal knowledge the skull promises. Blanchett is magnificent in her uniform and one forgets that only months ago she portrayed Queen Elizabeth in The Golden Age. She truly is an actor for all seasons and though Indiana Jones is hardly a film she’ll be awarded for, she definitely does deserve to be!

But enough said about performances, for this film is all about action, and action it is that connects the dots to complete the picture. The warehouse sequence, the grave sequence, the jungle fight, the quick sand, outsmarting the deadly red ants and then braving the rapids that lead to the furious waterfalls…they all keep you on the edge of your seats.

It’s not brilliant cinema but it is highly entertaining cinema and for that alone, it really is brilliant.
Movies like Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull are meant to be enjoyed, not intellectualized. Rationalizing them would mean ripping them apart and that would be unfortunate. And that is exactly why, while critics worldwide are ripping the film apart, its box office collections keep growing!
— Aamna Haider Isani

*YUCK
**WHATEVER
***GOOD
****SUPER
*****AWESOME